Gov Newsom limits gatherings to 3 families if a midget is present and no laughing
SACRAMENTO—Governor Gavin Newsom has decreed a new set of social distancing guidelines from on high allowing the peasant classes to...
Gavin Newsom
Newsom celebrates Indigenous Peoples’ Day by sacrificing 6 people to climate goddess Greta
SACRAMENTO—California Governor Gavin Newsom will be celebrating Indigenous Peoples' Day at the capitol by sacrificing six unlucky human beings to...
Newsom signs executive order releasing prison inmates who don’t ‘identify’ as a criminals
SACRAMENTO—California Gov. Gavin Newsom (D) signed an executive order Saturday allowing inmates to be released from prison immediately if they don't "identify" as a...
Newsom unveils bold plan for free 100% renewable energy for California
SACRAMENTO—Governor Gavin Newsom is sick and tired of waiting for the federal government to lead the way in fighting climate...
Arsonist changes name to ‘Climate Change’ so that people can say Climate Change causes wildfires
PORTLAND, OR—An arsonist who has started several fires in Oregon and California has legally changed his name to "Climate J....
Satan buys summer home in California after Newsom makes it just right for him
LOS ANGELES--The fallen angel Lucifer, also known as Satan, has purchased a summer home in California after Governor Gavin Newsom...
Antifa arsonists blame climate change for making them set dozens of fires on West Coast
Former president Barack Obama and California Governor Gavin Newsom have used their celebrity to condemn global warming for the devastating...
Innovative California police department goes 100% transparent
BAD WATER, CA—The town of Bad Water has decided to have the most transparent police force in America. Considered by...
The #1 attraction in California this year is Texas
LOS ANGELES—For the second year in a row, the top attraction in the beautiful state of California is Texas. "There's...
BREAKING: California mandates conversion therapy for white people
SACRAMENTO—Governor Gavin Newsom has announced a new mandated program of conversion therapy for people stricken with whiteness. "Californians have woken...
