‘We’ve run out of water to fight the Palisades Fire’ says governor of state next to the Pacific Ocean
LOS ANGELES—California Governor Gavin Newsom and LA Fire Chief Kristin Crowley held a press conference with the backdrop of the...
Gavin Newsom
BREAKING: Trump proposes new border wall after Newsom threatens to ignore federal law
MAR-A-LAGO, FL—President-Elect Donald Trump has proposed building a new border wall that excludes California, following Governor Gavin Newsom's threat to...
BREAKING: Newsom signs bill requiring photo ID to criticize another bill that allows people to vote without photo ID
SACRAMENTO, CA—In a groundbreaking move designed to "protect the integrity of free speech," California Governor Gavin Newsom has signed a...
BREAKING: Gavin Newsom Signs Bill Making It Illegal for Anyone in California to Talk Except Him
SACRAMENTO, CA – In a bold legislative move that has left political analysts, constitutional scholars, and anyone with a mouth...
California Tourism launches ‘Come to Kill Your Baby, Stay For The Weather’ campaign
SACRAMENTO—California Tourism officials have unveiled a bold and controversial new marketing campaign aimed at attracting visitors to the Golden State....
Gavin Newsom threatens to blot out the sun again if we don’t sacrifice a million babies to climate goddess Greta Thunberg this year
SACRAMENTO—California Governor Gavin Newsom has issued an ultimatum to the world: sacrifice 1 million babies to climate goddess Greta Thunberg...
Millions of Americans excited to host ‘mostly peaceful’ protests on Thanksgiving
SACRAMENTO—Following bans on gatherings for Thanksgiving in states across the country including California and New York, millions of Americans have...
Newsom gives Xi and Biden authentic San Fran experience during APEC, letting them poop on the sidewalk with homeless drug addicts
SAN FRANCISCO—Governor Gavin Newsom, worried that Chinese President Xi Jinping and U.S. President Joe Biden wouldn't get a taste of...
Newsom celebrates Indigenous Peoples’ Day by sacrificing 666 people to climate goddess Greta
SACRAMENTO—California Governor Gavin Newsom will be celebrating Indigenous Peoples' Day at the capitol by sacrificing six unlucky human beings to...
BREAKING: Gavin Newsom appoints Dianne Frankenstein to vacant Senate seat
SACRAMENTO—In a stunning move that left many Californians scratching their heads, Governor Gavin Newsom has appointed none other than Dianne...
