Biden wishes Americans a happy ‘Dependence Day’
WASHINGTON, DC--Following on his predecessor Barack Obama's tradition, President* Joe Biden wished every American a "Happy Dependence Day" this July...
independence day
BREAKING: Biden outlaws reading the Declaration of Independence on 4th of July
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden has issued an executive order outlawing the reading of the Declaration of Independence on the 4th...
Dems file articles of impeachment against US Founding Fathers for inciting insurrection
WASHINGTON, DC—Flanked by House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, House Intelligence Committee Chairman Adam Schiff and a number of other top Democrats...
BREAKING: Biden cancels 4th of July for being transphobic
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden has canceled the Fourth of July national holiday for being transphobic. "Since there were only CIS-gendered...
BREAKING: January 6 Commission to charge US Founding Fathers with ‘insurrection’; return colonies to Britain
WASHINGTON, DC—The esteemed House select committee announced it would hold a surprise hearing on July 4 to present new evidence that recently...
FBI warns millions of white supremacists to terrorize the country July 4 by having peaceful BBQ with friends
WASHINGTON, DC—The Federal Bureau of Investigation has been overwhelmed with reports of extremist white supremacists planning to terrorize America on...
Biden assures everyone we’ll be able to celebrate July 4th by year’s end
WASHINGTON, DC—President Biden offered some crucial guidance earlier today on how to safely celebrate the upcoming holidays over the course...
Democratic Governors celebrate Independence Day by locking everyone in their basements
East Lansing, MI—Just as COVID-19 restrictions are being lifted across the nation, Democratic governors are celebrating Independence Day by locking...
Blue state governors promise to briefly release citizens from lockdown on 4th of July for good behavior
Nothing lets the veil slip to reveal the enthusiastic power grabs of blue state governors quite like pandemic panic, or...
