Joe Biden

BREAKING: Biden’s dog attacks him after learning he’s not a man but one of the lizard people

Exavier Saskagoochie November 29, 2020

NEWARK, DE--Self-proclaimed President-Elect Joe Biden suffered a hairline fracture and bruised bones when his dog, Major, attacked him after finding...

Biden to turn the Oval Office into a man cave

Gumpers November 28, 2020

President-Elect Joe Biden has announced he is getting a cat for the Oval Office as well as turning it into...

The Dead Voter nominated for Time Person of the Year

Exavier Saskagoochie November 28, 2020

The Dead Voter, one of the most important components to the ongoing 2020 presidential election, has been nominated as Time...

US Bishops release ‘King Biden Version’ Bible with complete ‘Book of Palms’

Exavier Saskagoochie November 27, 2020

WASHINGTON DC—Following an apparent gaffe, when the devoutly Catholic Joe Biden accidentally said "the palmist" instead of "the psalmist", the...

Biden warns not to eat too much turkey or the trunalimunumaprzure will make you sleepy

Exavier Saskagoochie November 26, 2020

WASHINGTON DC—Self-appointed President-Elect Joe Biden warned of the many dangers of socializing during a Thanksgiving address Wednesday, warning people particularly...

BREAKING: Biden officially changes his name to Cho Bei Den

Exavier Saskagoochie November 24, 2020

WASHINGTON DC—Feeling that the election is behind him, Joe Biden has sold the naming rights to the president of the...

BREAKING: Warren Commission argues ‘magic ballot’ killed President Trump’s election hopes

Exavier Saskagoochie November 24, 2020

WASHINGTON DC—The Warren Commission has published the official explanation of how Joe Biden—a candidate with record low enthusiasm—flipped several swing...