In a stunning twist that has left the media industry scratching its collective head, Sports Illustrated has chosen to revolutionize the concept of employment by firing their entire staff and replacing them with trans-employed individuals—those who identify as employed despite not holding traditional jobs.

In an official statement, Sports Illustrated boldly declared, “We are at the forefront of redefining workplace dynamics. By embracing the trans-employed, we are breaking free from outdated notions of actual employment and stepping into a realm where perception is reality.”

The trans-employed team, equipped with an array of imaginative job titles like “Executive Dreamer” and “Innovation Guru,” brings a fresh perspective to the magazine’s editorial direction. Critics argue that this move blurs the line between reality and fantasy, but Sports Illustrated insists it’s a progressive leap toward a more inclusive workplace.

“We believe in the power of self-identification,” stated the magazine’s spokesperson. “Our trans-employed team members might not have conventional jobs, but they have a wealth of experience in dreaming big and pushing the boundaries of what it means to be employed.”

As the trans-employed staff settles into their newly redefined roles, Sports Illustrated is already touting the benefits of this avant-garde approach. The magazine promises a blend of groundbreaking narratives, offbeat perspectives, and a distinct lack of mundane office routines.

Whether this move will be celebrated as an ingenious reimagining of employment or criticized as a surreal departure from reality remains to be seen. Sports Illustrated’s gamble on the trans-employed has left the world wondering if this is a visionary leap into the future or merely a whimsical detour from the norms of the working world.

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