Transginger movement builds steam amid push to be less white

US—With the recent popular trend to “be less white,” caucasian people are scouring the color spectrum in search of a refuge. In a newly found movement labeled “Transgingerism,” boatloads of white people are now identifying themselves as “gingers.” And the REAL gingers aren’t happy about it!

During the last year of racially charged protests and divisive media coverage, the orange haired community has somehow escaped the backlash by apparently being viewed as “not quite white” or “too white to be white.”

Newly minted “transging,” Rory McTurmeric shared his experience: “As a kid I used to bully those ‘Cheeto-heads.’ But now, after being a subject of bullying myself, I noticed that the gingers have an advantage with their uber-whiteness. It’s as if having translucent skin gives them a super power of invisibility to the woke-Twitter-hate mob. And I definitely want to get me some of that action.”

In rain soaked, sun starved cities like Portland, Seattle, and Minneapolis, white people have no way to naturally darken their skin to enable them to blend in with an increasingly hostile civic environment. So if you can’t change to be darker than white, transgingerism allows you to be whiter than white.

Blake Thurnburg, an Antifa member from Lake Oswego, Oregon explained to us, “Being a native Portlander, and rarely seeing the sun, my skin has always been green. I have never identified as a white person. If I go transginger, and become orange, that’s just another lame color like green, which is still too white. So I joined Antifa so I could wear a black costume and feel like a person of color, and ya know, that feels more like the real me.”

In a cruel twist of fate, however, ginger people have recently been targeted by the mainstream media and similar government endorsed hate groups as being supporters of “that orange guy.” Random acts of violence are being perpetrated on anyone sporting red hair or skin in public. It seems as if the Transginger movement may be stalling in its tracks before it ever gets off the ground. In reaction to this, authentic gingers are now going “transbino.” And the albino community is not happy about this at all!


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