WNBA to Change Name to W+MPTBWNBA to be Totally Inclusive

NEW YORK — In a move described by league officials as both overdue and inevitable, the Women’s National Basketball Association announced Monday that it will rebrand as the W+MPTBWNBA effective next season.

The new name — Women’s + Men Pretending To Be Women’s Basketball Association — was unveiled at a sparsely attended press conference held in a neutral-toned conference room carefully stripped of any residual biological markers.

Commissioner Cathy Engelbert praised the change as “a natural evolution of our commitment to equity.” She noted that the previous name had become “increasingly exclusionary” and “rooted in outdated chromosomal assumptions.”

Under the revised structure, biological males who identify as women will continue to compete in the league without restriction. Officials confirmed that no additional testing, hormone thresholds, or performance adjustments are planned. “We reject the premise that physical reality should limit self-declaration,” Engelbert said.

League sources indicated the rebrand was prompted by a series of internal memos noting that several players had begun referring to opponents as “biological women” in private. The phrase was later flagged as “harmful and exclusionary.”

When asked whether the new name might reduce interest among female athletes who prefer competing against other females, Engelbert replied that any such preference was “a form of soft bigotry” and that the league would “educate those individuals out of their discomfort.”

Ticket sales, television ratings, and sponsorship deals were not discussed.

The league’s new official style guide now requires all media partners to refer to male athletes in the W+MPTBWNBA as “women” without qualification. Use of the terms “biological male,” “trans-identified male,” or “male who identifies as a woman” will be treated as a violation of partnership agreements.

A brief attempt by one reporter to ask whether the “W” in the new acronym still stood for “Women” was cut short by a league spokesperson who stated the question itself “reproduced harmful binaries.”

The first game under the new branding is scheduled for next spring. League officials expressed confidence that the product on the floor would remain “as compelling as ever.”