Month: August 2020

Archeologists discover first probable coronavirus victim

Exavier Saskagoochie August 12, 2020

ATLANTA—Archeologists working in coordination with the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) have discovered the first probably coronavirus victim...

Breaking: Biden picks Kamala Harris to creepily sniff for the next three months

Earnest O'Connor August 11, 2020

The decision is in! Finally. After months of painstakingly waiting the senile old vice president cum presidential hopeful picked his...

Biden decides Kamala Harris is ‘black enough’ to be his running mate

Exavier Saskagoochie August 11, 2020

Joe Biden has finally decided Kamala Harris "black enough" to be his running mate for the 2020 presidential election. Biden...

Biden demands to know who he’s going to pick for VP

The Lonely Rogue August 11, 2020

WASHINGTON DC—Presumptive Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden has demanded to know who he's going to pick for his vice presidential...

HEARTWARMING: Young man comes out to parents

Exavier Saskagoochie August 11, 2020

Here is a heartwarming video of a young man coming out to his parents. Be brave young people! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6e7LBmUUCo

Governing bodies promise to only censor you if you’re wrong

The Lonely Rogue August 10, 2020

WASHINGTON--Members of Congress have passed a bill during a daytime meeting and somehow, every member of congress voted in favor...

BREAKING: Biden supporters make off with millions in loot in rallies across Chicago

Exavier Saskagoochie August 10, 2020

CHICAGO—COVID-19 restrictions didn't stop supporters for presumptive Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden from making off with millions of dollars in...

Biden sad no popcorn appeared after pushing ‘popcorn’ button on microwave

Exavier Saskagoochie August 9, 2020

WASHINGTON DC—Presumptive Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden is furious after realizing his microwave is nothing but a foghorn-blowin' trolley jumper....