The Race Card is perfect gift for those impossible-to-shop-for relatives
PHILADELPHIA—Whether at a family dinner, a community outing, or even a sporting event, we all have at one time or...
Month: November 2020
BREAKING: Biden officially changes his name to Cho Bei Den
WASHINGTON DC—Feeling that the election is behind him, Joe Biden has sold the naming rights to the president of the...
BREAKING: Warren Commission argues ‘magic ballot’ killed President Trump’s election hopes
WASHINGTON DC—The Warren Commission has published the official explanation of how Joe Biden—a candidate with record low enthusiasm—flipped several swing...
Twitter launches free-speech alternative called Twit
SAN FRANCISCO—Propaganda app CEO Jack "Rasputin" Dorsey has launched a new free-speech alternative to Twitter called Twit. “I just don't...
VIDEO: Meet two of the dead voters who helped elect Joe Biden
The 2020 presidential election has been really fun—especially for deceased people. The silent majority buried underground voted more in this...
Newsom shifts all police funding to pay for Aerial Turkey Surveillance Thanksgiving crackdowns
SACRAMENTO—California Governor Gavin Newsom has unilaterally defunded all police this week to pay for his Aerial Turkey Surveillance Thanksgiving crackdowns....
Official How-To Guide for Safely Celebrating Thanksgiving in 2020
Millions of Americans find themselves unsure how to celebrate Thanksgiving this year due to the China Virus. Using recommendations and...
Oregon Health Authority reminds people to wear face masks while smoking crack at Thanksgiving
PORTLAND — The Oregon Health Authority is reminding people to wear face masks while smoking crack at Thanksgiving celebrations. They are...
Nike launches Antifa Spirit Urban Gear just in time for Black Friday
BEAVERTON, OR--Athletic equipment maker Nike has launched its Antifa Spirit Gear just in time for Black Friday. Nike spokesperson, William...
Hunter Biden surfaces after hearing someone say ‘I’m going to release the crack!’
WASHINGTON DC—Austere businessman and philanthropist Hunter Biden has finally surfaced in Washington DC after hearing someone say she was going...
