Year: 2020

America’s Mother-in-Law brings arsenic-laced cookies to Democratic debate

Exavier Saskagoochie February 19, 2020

Heading into the crucial Nevada caucus on Saturday, candidates for the Democrat Presidential nomination exchanged pleasantries and compliments during a...

Rosario Dawson installs revolving door on closet she just came out of

Justin Case February 19, 2020

Look, we all know people change their minds all the time about lots of things. People evolve. Tastes change. People...

Bernie Sanders selects Bernie Madoff as running mate, citing experience in Ponzi schemes

Exavier Saskagoochie February 18, 2020

Democratic socialist senator and presidential candidate Bernie Sanders has selected his running mate: convicted white collar criminal Bernie Madoff, citing...

BREAKING: Walmart warns of critical shortage of tons of worthless plastic crap from China due to coronavirus

Exavier Saskagoochie February 18, 2020

The retail superstore Walmart has issued a warning for all customers that they are experiencing a critical shortage of worthless...

Bernie furious Bloomberg is using his own money to buy votes instead of other people’s money like him

Exavier Saskagoochie February 18, 2020

Democratic socialist front runner Bernie Sanders is fuming that Michael Bloomberg is using his own money to buy votes instead...

Elizabeth Warren leaves DNC to start the Native American Party

Justin Case February 18, 2020

Elizabeth Warren having been proven to be 50 percent Cherokee and 50 percent middle school librarian, has made a bold...

AOC: ‘Why can’t a ‘brokend’ convention be fixed?

Justin Case February 17, 2020

Genesius Times has spent considerable resources recently on gaining more insight into exactly where Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) was educated as...