New Chicago Mayor vows to fix all the damage done by the last Republican mayor in 1931
CHICAGO—In a recent press conference, newly elected Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson announced his ambitious plan to fix all the damage...
Year: 2023
BREAKING: Navy promotes drag queen recruiter to Rear Admiral
In a groundbreaking move that is sure to raise a well-manicured eyebrow or two, the United States Navy has proudly...
Depressed New Yorkers look for alternative methods of suicide after gas stoves are banned starting in 2026
NEW YORK—In a blow to the depressed people of New York, the State Legislature banned gas stoves in most new...
Fox News unveils new graphics package to distract from Tucker not being there
In a bold move to distract viewers from the absence of their star anchor, Tucker Carlson, Fox News has unveiled...
Air Force One draws giant penis in the sky to signify that Biden is screwing America
US—In a shocking display of aerial artwork, Air Force One recently made headlines as it drew a giant, unmistakable image...
BREAKING: Dems worried no one will be able to normalize pedophilia if Hollywood Writers strike
Democrats across the nation are expressing deep concerns about the potential impact of the Hollywood Writers Guild strike on the...
BREAKING: Anti-fascist Democrats excited for government to bail out failing banks
In a surprising twist of irony, anti-fascist Democrats across the country are eagerly anticipating President Joe Biden's decision to bail...
Local white man has saved thousands since companies have stopped putting people like him in ads
In a stunning twist of fate, a middle-aged white man named Gary Thompson has reportedly saved thousands of dollars since...
OH NO! AOC left dangling when staffers forget to take her out of the congressional Jumperoo
WASHINGTON, DC—Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, affectionately known as AOC, found herself in quite the predicament when her staffers forgot to remove...
OP-ED: I Failed My Math Exam. This Is Why We Need Common Sense Pencil Control.
I received a failing grade on a recent math exam in school and as you can imagine, I’m livid. I...
