BREAKING: Due to staggering inflation, February now has 29 days
WASHINGTON, DC—As inflation continues to soar to unprecedented heights, the calendar is feeling the squeeze, with February now slated to...
Month: February 2024
BREAKING: Mitch McConnell to step down from Senate leadership role to focus more on staring blankly into space
WASHINGTON, DC—In a move that has left Capitol Hill both puzzled and oddly relieved, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell has...
President signs executive order making Feb 30th ‘Joe Biden Day’
WASHINGTON, DC—In a bold move aimed at reshaping his legacy and silencing his critics, President* Biden has signed an executive...
‘I will no longer be complicit in genocide’ shouts man who accidentally contributes to the genocide of his own people
In a stunning display of misguided activism, Aaron Bushnell, a self-proclaimed pro-Palestine Air Force member, inadvertently became a casualty of...
BREAKING: Trump Indicted For Failure To Return Shopping Cart To Front Of Store
UNITED STATES—The Department of Justice has indicted former President Donald Trump for failure to return his shopping cart to the...
LOOK at these stunningly real pictures of polar bears Google Gemini AI created
Just look at the beauty and realism! So real in their natural habitat of inventing medicines:
BREAKING: McConnell and Schumer unite under MUGA (Make Ukraine Great Again) banner to combat MAGA
In a bizarre twist of political theater, Senate leaders Mitch McConnell and Chuck Schumer have joined forces under the banner...
Google admits its Gemini AI just takes its historical figures from Netflix films
In a stunning admission, Google has revealed that its highly touted Gemini AI, which generates lifelike images of historical figures,...
BREAKING: Biden to transfer all student loans to people who never went to college
WASHINGTON, DC—In a bold move, President* Biden promised to make people who never went to college and everyone who has...
BREAKING: Biden to dedicate his next beach vacation to the victims of the East Palestine train disaster
WASSHINGTON, DC—In a move that has raised eyebrows and elicited more than a few chuckles, President* Joe Biden announced today...
