AOC: ‘Insurrectionists are just mad they can’t date me’

Did you know that all those frustrated insurrectionists are just mad they can’t date me? It’s true.

That’s why I’ve launched the highly anticipated AOC Dating App for Republicans who can’t date me. I know it’s a little risky putting myself out there with so many thirsty boys, but it needs to be done.

How about the Kazakhastani insurrection?

They want to date me too.

Anti-mandate protesters in Europe? Totally want to date me.

BLM protesters DO NOT want to date me. But I want to date them.

By the way, I’m writing this Opinion article in my basement on the anniversary of the War of January 6th because I’m terrified to death of all the people who want to date me.

Am I terrified of our president Joe Biden who wants to sniff me like a dog? No. He don’t want to date me. Get it straight bigot.

Only frustrated Republicans want to date me like creeps and that’s not to say that only creeps want to date me, because that would be owning myself, which I don’t want to do.


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