US workers ‘finally able to get some work done’ while Facebook was offline for 2 hours today
US—American workers experienced a surge in productivity not seen since the invention of the coffee break, as Facebook mysteriously went...
Jeremy Spoken
None of the snowflakes in an avalanche feels responsible.
BREAKING: Nikki Haley unanimously nominated Queen of the Swamp
WASHINGTON, DC—In a surprise coronation ceremony held in the heart of Washington D.C., Nikki Haley, former U.S. ambassador to the...
‘I will no longer be complicit in genocide’ shouts man who accidentally contributes to the genocide of his own people
In a stunning display of misguided activism, Aaron Bushnell, a self-proclaimed pro-Palestine Air Force member, inadvertently became a casualty of...
BREAKING: Biden hires new sign language interpreter
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden's administration has once again found itself embroiled in controversy. This time, it's not about policy decisions or...
Taylor Swift takes private jet to get from one side of her private jet to the other
US—Pop sensation Taylor Swift has unveiled her revolutionary solution for in-flight convenience: taking a private jet to get from one...
Biden awards illegal immigrant who flipped off America the Presidential Medal of Freedom
In a move that has left many Americans scratching their heads, President Joe Biden has awarded the prestigious Presidential Medal...
Budweiser Unveils “Dem Light” Can Featuring Nikki Haley
In a bold marketing move that has left political pundits scratching their heads, Budweiser, the iconic American beer brand, has...
BREAKING: Supreme Court lets Texas keep defending its border if it changes its name to Israel
AUSTIN—In a surprising turn of events, the Supreme Court has extended an unprecedented offer to Texas, allowing the Lone Star...
Is Vocational School Right For You?
In a world where the traditional path of a four-year college degree is often seen as the only gateway to...
Claudine Gay hired as Xerox CEO citing extensive experience in copying things
In a move that has both baffled and amused the business world, Former Harvard President Claudine Gay has been appointed...
