BREAKING: Biden pardons several ‘totally innocent’ people for crimes they didn’t commit
In a surprising last-minute decision, President Joe Biden has issued preemptive pardons for several individuals he describes as "totally innocent"...
Robert L. Peters, Jr.
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BREAKING: Many ‘totally innocent’ people begging for presidential pardons for the crimes they didn’t commit
WASHINGTON, DC—A parade of individuals, who swear on their mother's honor they've committed no crimes, are now clamoring for presidential...
Biden recalls Kwanzaa memories growing up in Scranton, PA
WASHINGTON, DC—In a heartwarming trip down memory lane, President* Joe Biden regaled the audience at the White House Kwanzaa celebration...
Crenshaw dyes hair purple to win back ‘Most Revolting Person In DC’ title
WASHINGTON, DC—In the heart of the nation's capital, a title has been passed from one lawmaker to another in a...
BREAKING: WNBA’s Caitlin Clark to play in blackface to compensate for her white privilege
In an unprecedented move, the Women's National Basketball Association (WNBA) has announced a new policy aimed at addressing racial inequality...
Mystery Solved: Drones Only Orbiting Chris Christie They Mistook For Home Planet
TRENTON, NJ—In a revelation that has both amused and baffled New Jersey residents, government officials have finally cracked the case...
Hunter Biden changes name to ‘Nobody’ so Democrats aren’t lying when they say ‘Nobody is above the law!’
Hunter Biden has legally changed his name to "Nobody" in order to be consistent with all the prominent Democrats who...
BREAKING: Dems cheer Laken Riley’s murder As ‘A very, very late term abortion’
Democrats have been celebrating the conviction of Jose Ibarra for the murder of Laken Riley as "A Very, Very Late...
Drop in MSNBC Ratings Reveal Democrats Are Looking for New Ways to Be Lied To
US—Both MSNBC and CNN are reporting massive drops in viewership, prompting loyal audiences to search elsewhere for their daily dose...
Frustrated SNL Writers Hoping Harris Does Something To Make Fun Of
SNL’s head writer Kahm Eddie Isded has a problem most comedy writers dream of: a Vice President so flawless she’s...
