BREAKING: Biden designates the American flag a white supremacist hate symbol
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden has designated the current American flag and all its predecessors as a hate symbol after seeing...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
Brave US women’s soccer team kneels during entire Olympic match, loses 303-0
TOKYO—In perhaps the bravest virtue signaling to date, the entire US women's soccer team took a knee during before their...
Biden officially renames White House Press Secretary ‘Miss Information’
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden has officially renamed the White House Press Secretary position "Miss Information" in order to better align with...
Shocking poll: 1% believe the crazy conspiracy theory that Biden got 81 million votes
US—A surprisingly high 1% of the US population believe the wild conspiracy theory that Joe Biden got 81 million votes...
Facebook officially changes its name to Fascebook
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—To better align with its core principles, social media giant Facebook is changing its name to Fascebook. Users...
Advice to Biden’s door-to-door Branch Covidian volunteers
John Crist offers some sage advice to those Biden door-to-door Branch Covidian vax volunteers. Good luck! https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=1285254628556237
CNN replaces all anchors with Baghdad Bob
ATLANTA—Legacy media titan CNN has hired austere press relations master Baghdad Bob to replace all anchors including Erin Burnett, Chris Cuomo, and...
Maricopa County admits they used Common Core math to tally fraudulent election
PHOENIX, AZ—Election officials in Maricopa County have explained why the audit of the 2020 presidential election there may have come...
Democrats launch investigation into why so many people want free and fair elections
WASHINGTON, DC—Congressional Democrats in House Oversight Committee have launched an investigation into why there's so much interest from American voters...
Prosecutors charge white lightning with hate crime after it destroyed George Floyd mural
TOLEDO, OH—Prosecutors have charged the natural phenomenon of lightning with a hate crime after it struck and destroyed a George...
