Exavier Saskagoochie

Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!

EXCLUSIVE: NASA releases stunning selfies from Mars rover

Exavier Saskagoochie February 24, 2021

JEZERO CRATER, MARS—NASA's most powerful rover yet, the Perseverance, is regularly sending back images from the Red Planet, some of...

AOC unveils plan to fix Texas’s energy problems

Exavier Saskagoochie February 24, 2021

WASHINGTON, DC—US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) has suggested the answer to the near total failure of green energy in Texas...

Mike Lindell launches new company selling red pills to wake people up

Exavier Saskagoochie February 23, 2021

MINNEAPOLIS, MN—MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell has made a lot of money helping people get the best sleep of their lives,...

Coca-Cola now requiring employees to ‘be less white’ by wearing blackface

Exavier Saskagoochie February 22, 2021

ATLANTA—Super woke soft drink company Coca-Cola is now mandating all employees to wear blackface in order to "be less white"....

Biden is giving up chocolate-covered kids for Lent

Exavier Saskagoochie February 22, 2021

WASHINGTON, DC—White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki reiterated President Joe Biden's devout Catholicism today confirming that he has given up...

In effort to woo Trump voters, Biden tries new hairdo

Exavier Saskagoochie February 20, 2021

WASHINGTON, DC—In an effort to understand and woo Trump supporters, Dominion-select President Joe Biden is trying a new hairdo. "I...

AOC recommends increasing cow farts to warm Texas up

Exavier Saskagoochie February 19, 2021

WASHINGTON, DC—Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) made a bold suggestion for Texans experiencing unprecedented cooling caused by global warming: more cow...