BREAKING: AG Barr doesn’t know what jumped up and bit him in the ass
WASHINGTON DC—US Attorney General Bill Barr says that he doesn't know the thing that jumped up and bit him in...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
Brave celebrity comes out as a straight white male
HOLLYWOOD—No demographic receives more hate, especially in California, than straight white males. That’s why it’s especially brave of the amazing...
BREAKING: The FBI has found no evidence of election fraud after not looking for it
Attorney General William Barr said that the Justice Department has found no evidence of widespread fraud in this year's election...
BREAKING: Dominion voting machines switched votes to Taco Bell in 2018 Best Mexican Food election
People were shocked when Taco Bell won Harris Poll's "Best Mexican Food" election in 2018. Now, sources close to the...
FBI requests evidence of election fraud so ‘it can be properly destroyed and utterly forgotten’
LANGLEY, VA--The Federal Bureau of Investigation has officially requested evidence of election fraud from the Voter Integrity Project so "it...
UPDATE: Biden ankle injury caused by tripping over a box of fraudulent ballots in his basement
NEWARK, DE--The Office of the Pseudo-President has confirmed that Joe Biden was injured tripping over a box of fraudulent ballots...
BREAKING: Biden’s dog attacks him after learning he’s not a man but one of the lizard people
NEWARK, DE--Self-proclaimed President-Elect Joe Biden suffered a hairline fracture and bruised bones when his dog, Major, attacked him after finding...
The Dead Voter nominated for Time Person of the Year
The Dead Voter, one of the most important components to the ongoing 2020 presidential election, has been nominated as Time...
US Bishops release ‘King Biden Version’ Bible with complete ‘Book of Palms’
WASHINGTON DC—Following an apparent gaffe, when the devoutly Catholic Joe Biden accidentally said "the palmist" instead of "the psalmist", the...
Biden warns not to eat too much turkey or the trunalimunumaprzure will make you sleepy
WASHINGTON DC—Self-appointed President-Elect Joe Biden warned of the many dangers of socializing during a Thanksgiving address Wednesday, warning people particularly...
