BREAKING: Costly Congress members to be replaced with automated tellers
Washington DC—With pricey COVID relief bills in negotiation, the country has decided to automate the Congress, replacing all US representatives...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
BREAKING: Congress approves Trump stimulus of $2,020 paid in new Trump bill to every American
WASHINGTON DC—After Congress got caught playing pork games with a previous stimulus bill, President Donald Trump sent the bill back...
BREAKING: Pelosi announces ‘Jelly of the Month Club’ certificates in lieu of COVID stimulus
WASHINGTON DC—Congress was set to send all Americans checks for COVID relief but at the last minute Speaker of the...
Andrew Yang invents smart way to determine whether people have had COVID vaccine
SILICON VALLEY—Former presidential candidate Andrew Yang has announced an innovative invention of his which tells people whether you've received the...
BREAKING: Biden threatens to withhold aid to US until agent investigating his son is fired
WASHINGTON DC--True to form, president-Elect Joe Biden has threatened to withhold $1 trillion in aid to the United States until...
BREAKING: Texas issues ‘stay at home’ order for entire state of California
AUSTIN—Amid the current rampant pandemic, Texas Governor Greg Abbott has issued an urgent "stay at home" order to all of...
GA Sec of State assures voters he has investigated himself and found no wrongdoing
ATLANTA—Georgia Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger has assured voters across the state that he will investigate himself thoroughly and find...
Roberts introduces new uniforms for Supreme Court justices
WASHINGTON DC--Chief Justice John Roberts introduced the new uniform for all Supreme Court justices including pink robes and a pink...
Woman with ‘My Body My Choice’ shirt yells at people who oppose mandatory vaccination
A woman with a “My Body My Choice” shirt has been stationed at a local Target store screaming at selfish...
Biden releases tell-all book about 2020 election ‘The Art of the Steal’
WASHINGTON DC--Self-identifying President-Elect Joe Biden has released a tell-all book called "The Art of the Steal" documenting the miraculous 2020...
