Schwarzenegger stars in new film as cyborg sent back to kill off humanity with mass vaccination program
HOLLYWOOD—Former Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger is back on the big screen this summer, staring in a new Terminator film called The...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
Gen Z now demanding participation trophies for not participating
Washington, D.C. is on the verge of becoming the first major U.S. city to give Gen Z a participation trophy...
Biden appoints Cuomo Gender Equality Czar citing his experience with ‘lots of women’
WASHINGTON, DC—Just minutes after former New York Governor Andrew Cuomo resigned over accusations of sexual harassment, US President* Joe Biden...
Local leftist swaps ‘I punch Nazis’ bumper sticker with ‘Show me your papers!’ sticker
US—A local leftist, Wankie McJohnson, has finally switched his ‘I Punch Nazi's’ bumper sticker to one that says ‘Show me...
CNN: All 600 relatives at Obama birthday bash wore invisible face masks
MARTHA'S VINEYARD--Former President Barack Obama assured the public that all 600 of his close family and friends wore invisible face...
BREAKING: California decriminalizes rapes lasting under 1 minute
SACRAMENTO, CA—Citing justice based on California's decriminalization of theft under $1000, Governor Gavin Newsom has unilaterally decriminalized rapes lasting less...
BREAKING: Biden rolls out new neck seatbelt mandate
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden announced today a new national mandate for neck seatbelts in all cars for all ages. The...
Apple shuts down child abuse scan project after only finding pictures of Joe Biden
CUPERTINO, CA—Electronics behemoth Apple has announced it is shutting down a brand new program to scan US phones for child...
BREAKING: Fauci orders drone strike on Rand Paul
WASHINGTON, DC—Escalating his War on Science, America's Doctor and leader of the Pharmaceutical-Industrial Complex Anthony Fauci has ordered a drone...
Fauci warns a 3rd booster shot may be necessary for those who haven’t died yet
NEW YORK—America's doctor Anthony Fauci has warned that a third booster shot may be necessary for those who haven't died...
