Ocasio-Cortez DNA results show she’s 1/1024th Muppet
While no one has doubted congresswoman elect Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's minority status, there has been plenty of doubt about her heritage...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
Several college students hospitalized after intense virtue signalling
Hospitals across the country have recently been inundated with patients injured by a new condition, intense virtue signalling trauma, or...
Pope Francis has declared Christmas decorations before Thanksgiving a mortal sin
In a bold move that will rock the foundations of Christendom, Pope Francis has declared the installation of Christmas decorations...
Ocasio-Cortez announces bill to make electoral college tuition-free
The new face of the Democrat party and the youngest person ever elected to the House of Representatives, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez,...
Democrat volunteers ensure deceased voters get “I voted” stickers too
Democrat volunteers across the country spent hours ensuring that deceased voters received their "I voted" stickers on their graves. "They...
Americans devastated entire country doesn’t hold their exact same political beliefs
All across the country, millions of Americans are waking up to the realization that not everyone in the country agrees...
Registrar says votes don’t count until you post an image of your “I voted” sticker on social media
Disenfranchisement of voters has been a controversial topic since Jim Crow—that bastard—tried to keep people from voting in the South....
Local Life Teen music director to replace guitars with chainsaws
In a bold effort to make the liturgy more "modern" and culturally relevant, the music director at the local St....
Activist: Trump should “abort” caravan before it reaches border
Tensions are rising as the caravan of undocumented Central American nationals make their way to the United States border. One...
City outlaws dressing up as anything but yourself for Halloween
In an effort to curb illicit cultural appropriation during this Halloween season, the city of Hartford, Connecticut has banned the...
