BREAKING: P. Diddy launches ‘Pedophiles for Harris’ group from jail
In a move that’s raising eyebrows across the political spectrum, music mogul Sean “P Diddy” Combs has officially launched a...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
BREAKING: Merrick Garland offers to match Ryan Routh’s $150,000 bounty for whoever can ‘finish the job’ on Trump
WAHINGTON, DC—In a jaw-dropping escalation of governmental ingenuity, the Department of Justice, under Attorney General Merrick Garland, has reportedly decided...
BREAKING: Gavin Newsom Signs Bill Making It Illegal for Anyone in California to Talk Except Him
SACRAMENTO, CA – In a bold legislative move that has left political analysts, constitutional scholars, and anyone with a mouth...
BREAKING: Sean ‘P Diddy’ Combs has tragically committed suicide in Manhattan jail tomorrow
NEW YORK—Sean “Diddy” Combs, the iconic hip-hop mogul, has tragically committed suicide in a Manhattan jail tomorrow. Despite the event...
BREAKING: DOJ charges 2nd would-be Trump assassin with jaywalking and mostly-peacefully protesting without a permit
MAR-A-LAGO, FL The man who allegedly attempted to assassinate former President Donald Trump has been formally charged—not with attempted murder,...
OpEd: When are we going to have common sense ‘White Dudes for Harris’ control?
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but it’s time we all face a cold, hard truth: every crime...
BREAKING: Trump indicted for interfering with second official CIA assassination attempt of him
MAR-A-LAGO, FL — In a shocking turn of events, former President Donald Trump has been indicted yet again, this time...
Oxford to discontinue “Is the Pope Catholic?” idiom
After several years of questionable Catholicism by Pope Francis, Oxford, publisher of the Official World Idiom Book, has announced it...
LEAKED: Taylor Swift contract to endorse Kamala Harris for $100,000 and lifetime supply of adrenochrome
NEW YORK—A leaked contract has revealed that pop megastar Taylor Swift is allegedly set to endorse Vice President Kamala Harris...
BREAKING: Famous cats launch ‘Democats for Trump’ following reports of Kamala’s migrants eating pets
Beloved internet icons Grumpy Cat, Dinner Cat, and Hello Kitty have joined forces to launch a new political action group,...
