BREAKING: 1.3 billion people attend Kamala Harris rally in Fauxitawnee, Pennsylvania
FAUXITAWNEE, PA — In what can only be described as the most monumental event in human history, a staggering 1.3...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
FACT CHECK: Yes, Tim Walz did receive a medal of valor as the first person to land on the moon in 1969
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a shocking revelation that has left historians scrambling to revise their textbooks, Minnesota Governor Tim Walz...
BREAKING: Biden/Harris stop taking credit for economy as stock market crashes
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a stunning reversal of their usual rhetoric, President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris have...
First biological cheetah who identifies as a man set to take gold for Lichtenstein at the Paris Olympics
LICHTENSTEIN—The citizens of this small alpine country in the middle of Europe are abuzz as they are set to take...
Thomas Matthew Crooks headlines ‘White Dudes for Harris’ Zoom call from his room in Hell
US—Thomas Matthew Crooks, the man accused of attempting to assassinate former President Donald Trump, has found an unlikely second career...
BREAKING: 100,000 brave ‘Cucks for Kamala’ donate their testicles to the Harris campaign
US—Not to be outdone by the Karens for Kamala, 100,000 self-proclaimed "Cucks for Kamala" (also known as the "White Dudes...
KAMALA HARRIS: ‘We must cancel the 2024 presidential election in order to save democracy!’
WASHINGTON, DC—Vice President Kamala Harris has made a bold declaration: "We must cancel the 2024 presidential election in order to...
BREAKING: Paris Olympics Adds ‘Dodging Fire and Brimstone’ Event Following Blasphemous Opening Ceremonies
PARIS—In an unexpected twist, the 2024 Paris Olympics Committee has announced the addition of a new event: "Dodging Fire and...
REPORT: Kamala Harris sacrificed two babies to Moloch to get Barack Obama’s endorsement
WASHINGTON, DC— In an unprecedented and shocking move, Vice President Kamala Harris has reportedly sacrificed two babies to the ancient...
MSDNC Poll: 5 out of 4 Americans Prefer Kamala Harris Over Donald Trump for President
NEW YORK— In a shocking and totally statistically sound survey, MSDNC has released a new poll revealing that 5 out...
