BREAKING: Walls are okay again
CHICAGO, IL — In a stunning reversal of their long-standing opposition to border walls, the Democratic National Convention Committee (DNCC)...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
Democrats win rights to use ‘Death to America’ as 2024 campaign slogan
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a move that's sure to shake up the 2024 election, the Democratic National Committee (DNC) announced...
Kamala Harris kicks off Democratic Convention by sacrificing two babies to Moloch
CHICAGO—Democrats kicked off their 2024 convention with Vice Presidential pick Kamala Harris sacrificing two babies to Moloch, the patron god...
POLL: What should Biden rename monkeypox to make it more inclusive?
Following a bigoted response to monkeypox with some people pointing out that homosexuals constitute 98% of the cases, the Biden...
BREAKING: Monkeypox outbreak traced back to several ‘White Dudes For Harris’ rallies
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a shocking development, health officials have traced the recent surge in monkeypox cases to a series...
BREAKING: Democrats seek to expel Rep. Anna Paulina Luna from Congress for being an actual woman
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Democrats across the nation have expressed outrage after a video surfaced of Rep. Anna Paulina Luna (R-FL)...
BREAKING: Following declining poll numbers for Kamala Harris, the WHO declares a global emergency over the monkeypox virus
NEW YORK—Following a sharp decline in Vice President Kamala Harris’s poll numbers, the World Health Organization (WHO) has declared a...
Kamala Harris asks voters to put her in office so she can do all the things she didn’t do while she’s been in office
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a bold and refreshingly honest campaign speech, Vice President Kamala Harris has officially asked voters to...
BREAKING: 1.3 billion people attend Kamala Harris rally in Fauxitawnee, Pennsylvania
FAUXITAWNEE, PA — In what can only be described as the most monumental event in human history, a staggering 1.3...
FACT CHECK: Yes, Tim Walz did receive a medal of valor as the first person to land on the moon in 1969
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a shocking revelation that has left historians scrambling to revise their textbooks, Minnesota Governor Tim Walz...
