BREAKING: Ted Cruz releases letter officially endorsing Donald Trump for president
In a surprising twist of political theater, Senator Ted Cruz has released a letter officially endorsing former President Donald Trump...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
BREAKING: Billionaires fly private jets to Davos to lecture everyone else about reducing their emissions
DAVOS, SWITZERLAND—Hundreds of the world's richest people have flown their private jets to this luxury Alpine ski resort in order...
Greta Thunberg’s Global Warming Conference cancelled due to sub-arctic freezing temps
A symposium sponsored by the International Global Warming Trust was cancelled today in Michigan as temperatures dipped below -50 degrees...
BREAKING: Fox News unanimously declares Jeb Bush the winner of the 2024 Iowa Caucases
DES MOINES—In a bizarre turn of events, Fox News has taken a bold leap into the realm of speculative journalism...
Nation shocked that 2024 Miss America winner is an actual woman
In a plot twist that has left the nation in collective disbelief, this year's Miss America pageant concluded with the...
FAA to hire more people with ‘severe intellectual’ and ‘psychiatric’ disabilities to match Biden
WASHINGTON, DC—In a move that has aviation experts questioning whether they accidentally boarded the wrong flight, the Federal Aviation Administration...
BREAKING: Biden cancels MLK Day because ‘he ain’t black’
WASHINGTON, DC—Joe Biden isn't even president yet and he's already shaking things up. Biden unilaterally cancelled the Martin Luther King...
Mark Cuban ends discriminatory hiring at Dallas Mavericks; signs 4’3″ powerhouse Wei Wu as Center
DALLAS—In a groundbreaking move towards diversity and inclusion, Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban has declared war on discriminatory hiring practices...
BREAKING: Speaker Mike Johnson prepared to complain ‘much more’ on social media if Biden doesn’t do something about the border
In a stunning display of legislative brinkmanship, Speaker of the House Mike Johnson has issued a formidable warning to the...
Defense Secretary Austin receives 50 more commendations and ribbons for being out sick last week
In a stunning display of valor and resilience, Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin has added a staggering 50 new commendations and...
