BREAKING: FBI kills man because he made threats to a president who isn’t Trump
In a bizarre case of mistaken presidential identity, the FBI has reportedly taken swift action by eliminating a man who...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
Biden Department of Justice officially changes name to ‘Department of Just Us’
WASHINGTON, DC—The President* Biden Department of Justice has officially changed its name to the US Department of Just Us, according...
US Women’s Soccer Team promises to win next World Cup by replacing all the women with high school boys
In an unexpected twist to boost their chances at the next World Cup, the US Women's Soccer Team has unveiled...
BREAKING: Biden makes campaign stop at Delaware cemetery
In a bold move that defies all traditional campaign strategies, President Joe Biden has been spotted hitting the campaign trail...
BREAKING: Obama chef Tafari Campbell’s death ruled as ‘climate change’
In a shocking turn of events, the tragic death of former and current President Barack Obama's chef Tafari Campbell has...
Mattel offering free abortions with purchase of each Barbie movie ticket
HOLLYWOOD—In a bold marketing move that left parents everywhere questioning their sanity, toy giant Mattel has announced an unexpected promotion...
BREAKING: Obama’s chef has information that will lead to the arrest of Hillary Clinton
MASSACHUSETTS—Obama's world famous chef Tafari Campbell has information that will lead to the arrest of Hillary Clinton. Campbell says that...
Mattel releases Booster-Shot Barbie complete with Guillain-Barre paralysis!
2022 is a big year for Barbie who is covering all sorts of new ground including the vax-positive "Booster Shot Barbie"...
BREAKING: Biden officially stops gain-of-function experiment funding to Wuhan lab that never happened
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden has made a bold move to halt funding for something that never even happened. In a...
POLL: How should Disney rename irredeemably racist Snow White?
It's clear the Disney's Snow White franchise is irredeemably racist and must be completely overhauled. What should we demand Disney...
