Brave Ukrainian soldier jumps on pile of Russian fentanyl to save fellow soldiers
A brave unknown soldier (pictured above) jumped on a pile of Russian fentanyl to save his fellow soldiers. He will...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
BREAKING: Congress narrowly averts being fiscally responsible again
US—Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell joined the Democrats in passing a funding bill which narrowly averted the Congress being fiscally...
BREAKING: Elon Musk steps down as Twitter CEO, announces new CEO: El Musko
US—Twitter CEO Elon Musk has stepped down as Twitter CEO after a majority of Twitter users polled by Musk voted...
BREAKING: New York Times supports Nazis with Swastika crossword on first day of Chanukah
NEW YORK—The New York Times have officially come out in support of the National Socialist Nazi Party with a Swastika...
BREAKING: France surrenders World Cup final
DOHA, QATAR—Argentina won the 2022 World Cup final after France surrendered. "We won the last World Cup and it just...
BREAKING: Death by coincidence is at an all-time high
US—Medical experts from the Center for Disease Control and Perpetuation (CDC) have confirmed that deaths by coincidence are at an...
BREAKING: Sam Bankman-Fried has tragically died in a plane crash tomorrow
NEW YORK—In a shocking coincidence, Sam Bankman-Fried, the man who used stolen crypto funds to donate to Democratic Party candidates,...
BREAKING: Matt Damon has died
You will be missed!
BREAKING: Fauci can’t recall COVID-19: ‘What pandemic? I don’t know what you’re talking about’
WASHINGTON, DC—After approval of government mitigations for COVID-19 have hit an all-time low, America's Doctor Anthony Fauci is distancing himself...
BREAKING: Man who released illegal arms dealer from prison gives lecture on gun control
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden on Wednesday renewed vows to secure a new ban on assault weapons in the United States...
