Lizzo urges fans to vote to overturn the law of gravity which is ‘oppressing us’
US—Obese singer Lizzo used her moment in the spotlight at MTV’s Video Music Awards (VMAs) to urge her fans to...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
Paul Pelosi rushes to take out millions in student loans before Biden makes you pay for them
SAN FRANCISCO, CA—Paul Pelosi, husband of Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi has rushed to take out several million dollars...
JUST IN: Pfizer releases new delivery mechanism for monkeyox vaccines
US—After backlash over the news of the Pfizer vaccines and boosters, the pharmaceutical giant has released a new delivery method...
BREAKING: Biden to transfer all home mortgage loans to homeless people and renters
WASHINGTON, DC—Following the popular move to "forgive" student debt and transfer it to people who never went to college, President*...
BREAKING: Redacted FBI warrant for Mar-a-Lago raid just says ‘Orange Man Bad’
WASHINGTON, DC—The Justice Department released a sealed version of its proposed redactions to the FBI affidavit used to get a...
Biden clarifies that student loan forgiveness will only be for people with completely worthless degrees like ‘Gender Studies’
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden clarified his student loan forgiveness program today, stating that it will only apply to people with completely...
‘I can’t afford my student loan’ woman wearing $1000 outfit tweets on $800 phone
Angry with the injustice of the financial system, fashionable local woman Charlie Burke hate tweeted, "I can't afford my student...
BREAKING: Russians massacre innocent Ukrainian family in cold blood
KYIV—Russians have brutally massacred an innocent Ukrainian family for no reason as shown in a surveillance video. US President* Biden...
Branch Covidians hold candlelight vigil after learning Fauci will be stepping down
US—Adherents to the fastest growing religion in the country, the Branch Covidian cult, held candlelight vigils across the country after...
