BREAKING: Senator Lindsey Graham hospitalized with prolonged erection after US bombs Iran
WASHINGTON, DC—Senator Lindsey Graham (R-SC) was rushed to Walter Reed National Military Medical Center late last night after suffering what...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
Ilhan Omar Condemns Trump’s Iran Strikes as ‘Racist Against Terrorists’
MINNEAPOLIS — In a blistering floor speech that lasted exactly as long as the average commercial break, Rep. Ilhan Omar...
BREAKING: Minnesota Just Weeks Away from Developing Nuclear Weapon, Sources Say
ST. PAUL, Minn. — Intelligence officials confirmed today that Minnesota is mere weeks—possibly days—from achieving a fully operational nuclear weapon,...
BREAKING: Marco Rubio named new Supreme Leader of Iran
In a stunning development that has left foreign policy analysts reaching for their atlases, President Donald J. Trump announced today...
BREAKING: Trump bombs Iran so that he can get a Nobel Peace Prize like Obama
In a bold move to secure lasting global recognition, President Donald J. Trump authorized precision airstrikes on multiple Iranian military...
Dan Bongino Takes Break from Ignoring Elite Child-Eating Sex-Traffickers to Call Out Candace Owens for Horrifyingly Saying Stuff
In yet another masterclass of selective outrage, former Secret Service agent and current podcast impresario Dan Bongino has once again...
Sen Thune to Give 8-Month Press Conference to Explain Why 8 Months Isn’t Enough Time to Vote on SAVE Act
WASHINGTON — In a move hailed by political scientists as "the most efficient use of inefficiency since the invention of...
CNN adds Gavin Newsom to panel on ‘What It’s Like Being Black & Poor in America’
ATLANTA — In what network executives are calling a “definitive step toward radical empathy,” CNN has confirmed California Governor Gavin...
Newsom Conducts High-Profile Drive-By Shooting in Compton to Prove He’s ‘Just Like Them’
COMPTON, CA – In what aides are calling “a decisive step toward national healing,” California Governor Gavin Newsom personally piloted...
Carney orders all Canadian flags to fly at half-mast after hockey team loses to US in Olympic final
Ottawa – In a somber address from Rideau Hall this afternoon, Prime Minister Mark Carney directed that all Canadian flags...
