BREAKING: Derek Chauvin Comes Out as Postpartum Woman and Hormones Made Him Do It; All Charges Vacated
MINNEAPOLIS — Derek Chauvin announced Thursday that he is a postpartum woman and that he mystically gave birth to George...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
Clancy Jury Still Deadlocked After Women Jurors Spend Four Days to Decide Where to Go for Lunch
PLYMOUTH, Mass. — Important things. The jury in the Lindsay Clancy murder trial returned to court Wednesday still unable to...
BREAKING: Trump Drops Several Tactical Memes Over Canada After PM Carney’s Warning
OTTAWA—President Trump has dropped several tactical memes over Canada after Prime Minister Mark Carney prohibited American political imagery, administration officials...
To Avoid Any Confusion, California Will Announce Governor’s Election Results Ahead of Actual Vote
SACRAMENTO — California election officials announced Monday that they will release the official results of the November gubernatorial election in...
Billie Eilish Unveils ‘Smash Capitalism,’ a Fragrance Priced at $88 an Ounce
LOS ANGELES — Grammy winner Billie Eilish on Monday introduced Smash Capitalism, a new eau de parfum she described as...
Trump Officially Renames Canada ‘Snow Mexico’
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump on Sunday signed an executive order directing federal agencies to stop calling Canada “Canada” and...
Trump Officially Renames Grand Canyon ‘Grand Kamala’
WASHINGTON — One day after directing federal agencies to rechristen Lake Michigan as Lake Big Mike, President Donald Trump announced...
Trump Renames Lake Michigan ‘Lake Michelle Obama’
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump announced Monday that Lake Michigan will henceforth be officially designated Lake Michelle Obama, citing what...
Trump Orders Lake Michigan Renamed ‘Lake Big Mike’ In Honor of Former First Lady
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump announced Thursday that he will issue an executive order renaming Lake Michigan “Lake Big Mike,”...
Girl Scouts Replace Entire Cookie Line With Halal Falafel Delight
NEW YORK — Girl Scouts of the United States of America announced Wednesday that every traditional cookie variety will be...
