BREAKING: DC erects border wall around city to keep Texas from sending illegal immigrants there
WASHINGTON, DC—Mayor Muriel "Bow Wow" Bowser has erected a border wall around the perimeter of the nation's capital to keep...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
Biden blames Brooklyn mass shooting on black white supremacy
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden has blamed white supremacy for an incident in which a black man killed 10 and injured 19...
POLL: Cancelling student debt popular among people with absolutely worthless degrees
US—A new Pew Pew Institute poll shows the socialist concept of cancelling student debt promoted by Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth...
SCIENCE: CIS men are actually transmen trapped in the bodies of transwomen-the most oppressed group ever
ST. LOUIS—In a new Pew Pew study that will surely lead to the self-immolation of thousands of social justice warriors,...
BREAKING: Newsom declares state of emergency after Russia destroys several California cities
SACRAMENTO—The Russian offensive in Ukraine has spread to California as several cities have been utterly destroyed. California Governor Gavin Newsom...
BREAKING: Dead rabid fox who bit Democrats surges to lead in 2024 presidential poll
WASHINGTON, DC—The mother fox that bit at least nine Democrats near the U.S. Capitol and was euthanized shortly after has...
BREAKING: Disney buys ‘Epstein Island’ for new kids-only theme park
VISTA DEL MAL, CA—Disney has purchased the controversial island owned by convicted pedophile and sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein. The company...
BREAKING: Pelosi tests positive for COVID but is asymptomatic due to all the alcohol in her blood
WASHINGTON, DC—House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has tested positive for COVID-19, according to a statement the California Democrat released Thursday, but...
Biden’s puppet master revealed in heartwarming White House ceremony
WASHINGTON, DC—In a rare White House ceremony, the puppet master for President* Joe Biden was revealed to the world as...
BREAKING: Colorado mandates everyone in the state has at least one abortion a year
DENVER—In response to the anti-abortion bill in Oklahoma, Colorado legislators have passed a bill mandating that every Coloradan get at...
