Trudeau: Russia may invade Ukraine as long as they don’t honk horns or bring bouncy castles
OTTAWA—Prime Minister Justin Trudeau declared that Russia may invade and occupy Ukraine as long as they don't honk their horns....
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
Trudeau declares war on truckers; leads cavalry of inflatable unicorns to take out bouncy castle
OTTAWA—Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has declared war on the trucker convoy for freedom in Canada and is leading a cavalry...
POLL: Who do you trust more with public health: Dr. Fauci or Dr. Dre?
After a strong performance on the National Stage during Super Bowl LVI, Dr. Dre is making the case for the...
BLM activists topple Frederick Douglass statue after learning he voted for Trump
NEW YORK—Black Lives Matter protesters have torn down a statue of 19th century abolitionist Freedrick Douglass after learning that not...
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez releases line of socialist Valentines
The creative art director at the Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez staff has been working like an unpaid Democratic staffer in preparation for...
Eminem sacrifices two goats to Moloch in annual Illuminati halftime show
LOS ANGELES—The annual Illuminati initiation ritual, also known as the Super Bowl LVI Halftime show, featured an unprecedented number of...
BREAKING: Biden sends $80B in weapons to Ukraine to leave behind for Russia when we withdraw
WASHINGTON, DC--Following his stellar exit strategy that worked flawlessly in Afghanistan, President* Biden is sending over $80 billion in military-grade...
Biden admin to require proof of vaccination to receive free crack
WASHINGTON, DC—The Biden administration has made it clear that proof of full vaccination will be required to receive the administration's...
Struggling Mark Zuckerberg launches GoFundMe page as net worth drops under $100 billion
Mark Zuckerberg has started a GoFundMe donation page as his net worth plummeted to under $100 billion following his company's...
Biden HHS giving out free COVID masks with holes for easier crack smoking
WASHINGTON, DC—The Biden Health and Human Services Department is giving away free face masks with holes cut out in a...
