BREAKING: To make Canada more inclusive, Justin Trudeau bans white people from the country
OTTAWA, CANADA—In an effort to make Canada more inclusive, Prime Minster Justin Trudeau has officially banned white people from the...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
US Bobsled team renames their sled ‘Biden’ because nothing has taken America downhill faster
BEIJING—In preparation for the 2022 Winter Olympics, the US bobsled team has named their #1 sled "Biden" because nothing has...
POLL: Who would you rather have running the government: Truckers or Politicians?
Truckers have descended on Canada's capital raising the question, who would you rather have running the government?
Abraham Lincoln quote on online arguments
This is one of my favorite Lincoln quotes. It really summarizes the current age of Twitter arguments. Lincoln was so...
Socialists are furious that workers of the world are uniting
OTTAWA, CANADA—Socialists in Canada and in various countries are furious today as workers of the world are uniting to protest...
BREAKING: UN officially recognizes the new country of ‘Truckistan’
OTTAWA, TRUCKISTAN—The United Nations have officially recognized the new country of Truckistan, according to a press release by the UN...
BREAKING: Biden threatens to bomb Ukraine if Russia doesn’t invade it soon
WASHINGTON, DC—In a bizarre announcement, US President* Joe Biden threatened the Ukraine that he was going to "bomb the sh*t...
AOC demands ‘they make black snow because white snow is racist’
NEW YORK CITY—Many New Yorkers including US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez are blaming racism for the devastating winter storm Kenan that...
AOC: ‘No question white supremacy caused this devastating winter storm’
NEW YORK CITY—Winter Storm Kenan pummeled New York on Friday and Saturday, dumping over a foot of snow in some parts...
Apple releases blatantly racist ‘man stealing watermelon’ emoji
CUPERTINO, CA—Tech giant Apple just released a blatantly racist "man stealing watermelon" emoji, according to sources. "I don't know who...
