NEWARK, DE—Self-declared President-Elect Joe Biden suffered multiple injuries while “playing with his wife,” a spokesman said.
“C’mon man, we were just horsing around. It’ holiday time… that’s a party at the Biden pad… what we do, it was all in fun!” said Biden about the severe injuries he sustained after playing with his wife, Jill.
One of the guests gave Genesius Times the inside scoop.
“They were a little ‘testy’ with each other at the dinner table and then, during the after-dinner drinks Joe shoved Jill against the fireplace. She gave him a backhand, a la Ali that sent him down on the hardwood floor. I’ve seen horse-play in my time and this was a lot more like a cattle branding if you ask me. She kicked him so hard in the head he stopped smiling, just for a second though, I think his mouth has permanent muscle memory for that. Anyway, Jill has been cross training for a while now and she got a leg lock that had to pull half the tendons in his arm and then she finished up with a stomp that took out his right hand. All in all, quite the beating. Weird thing, on the way to the doctor’s, Joe just kept smiling and calling it horsing around.”
The injuries follow a broken ankle after Biden tripped over a box of fraudulent ballots in his basement.