Ocasio-Cortez enlists first cow-fart police to combat global warming
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has started implementing her Green New Deal already, before any congressional approval or without any rational second opinion....
Business
STUDY: 67% of employees still trying to escape conversation with chatty coworkers
U.S.—A new study conducted by the CDC has found that almost 70% of all office workers are currently attempting to...
Wealthy legislator proposes 100% tax on everyone who is richer than he is
The first-ever living turd elected to Congress, Chet, has proposed a new tax on the highest income earners. According to...
BREAKING: Everyone’s mother officially enters Democratic primary to defeat Trump
In a move that many analysts had predicted for months, Everyone's mother officially put her name in the Democratic primary...
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez campaigns with Dr. Evil for $1 million minimum wage
After many municipalities have mandated employers pay a minimum wage of $15 an hour, others are campaigning for higher minimum...
Gillette Introduces ‘Ball Blades’ to Help Fight ‘Toxic Masculinity’ via Castration
The razor giant Gillette is embracing the #MeToo movement with its new line of blades designed especially for excising testes....
APA declares masculinity a disease; millions of men apply for disability and society collapses
The American Psychiatric Association recently published its guidelines for men and boys, which declared "traditional masculinity" a disease as it...
California gas prices plummet to about the price of a kidney on the black market
Californians are enjoying some of the lowest gas prices in recent memory despite the government's efforts to tax the fuel...
Feminist mob demands equal representation in trash collection, other dangerous and gross professions
In a bold protest, a mob of self-proclaimed angry feminists demanded equal female representation in the field of trash collection...
Guy in cubicle certain that his next sniffle will be the last
After 783 continuous workdays in which he coughed and sniffled every 15 seconds, the guy in the cubicle next to...
