Biden wishes Americans a happy ‘Dependence Day’
WASHINGTON, DC--Following on his predecessor Barack Obama's tradition, President* Joe Biden wished every American a "Happy Dependence Day" this July...
Culture
Harris removes racist white stripes from US flag in time for 4th of July
WASHINGTON, DC—Following up on a campaign promise to remove the racist white stripes from the US flag, President Vice President...
Creators of Pride Month launch Extreme Avarice Month in July
US—Working off the success of the wildly popular June Pride Month, creators have launched the sequel, "Extreme Avarice Month" in...
New rules for CNN debate: Trump will be in a sound-proof glass room and only be able to respond using sign language
ATLANTA—In a shocking and unexpected turn of events, CNN has announced that it will be implementing new rules for its...
Lego releases new Gaza Pride set
This revolutionary new toy is designed to promote cultural sensitivity and to teach children about the importance of acceptance and...
Biden Confuses Juneteenth Festival for Cotton Picking Festival
In a shocking and unexpected turn of events, President* Joe Biden was seen at a Juneteenth festival at the White...
Activists furious that people are driving on the rainbow murals they painted on streets where cars go
US--LGBTQFJB+ activists around the country are livid after it has become apparent that people are driving over the murals they...
Biden pledges $300 million to rebuild the ‘sagging infrastructure’ of Maxine Waters’ face
President* Joe Biden has pledged $300 million to rebuild the "sagging infrastructure" of Congresswoman Maxine Waters' face, in an effort...
First pile of feces who identifies as a beautiful woman is crowned Miss America
Chet, the first human turd who identified as a beautiful woman, has been crowned Miss America, in a groundbreaking and...
Inflation forces annual Miss Alabama Competition & State Hot Dog Eating Contest to combine shows this year
President* Biden's inflationary policies have forced the annual Miss Alabama Competition and State Hot Dog Eating Contest to combine shows...
