BREAKING: Joe Biden defies ageist critics, announces he and Dr. Jill Biden are expecting baby
In a stunning turn of events, President* Joe Biden has defied critics who claim he is too old for the...
Culture
OP-ED By My SUV: I Was Born A Kia, But I Identify As A Honda
While I may look like another typical SUV, I’m not. Not at all. And that’s because I’m the first automobile...
Woke virtue signalers get new yard sign
In a stunning display of self-awareness, woke virtue signalers across the nation are rushing to get their hands on the...
BREAKING: CNN to air constant reruns of Trump townhall to boost ratings
ATLANTA—In a desperate attempt to boost their ratings, CNN has announced that they will be foregoing all other programming and...
Local dad’s joke fails to get any laughs
Local dad, Jim Johnson, made a valiant attempt at humor yesterday during a family gathering, but unfortunately failed to get...
Local woman continues family tradition of hyphenated name to smash the patriarchy
Janice Smith-Wilson-Johannes-Rodriguez, a child of progressive parents and grandparents was born to Jimbo Johannes-Rodriguez and Sha'nay Smith-Wilson. She always knew...
BREAKING: Navy hires former Bud Light VP to completely kill their brand too
The US Navy has announced its newest hire in an effort to completely destroy their brand: former Bud Light Vice...
BREAKING: Navy promotes drag queen recruiter to Rear Admiral
In a groundbreaking move that is sure to raise a well-manicured eyebrow or two, the United States Navy has proudly...
Depressed New Yorkers look for alternative methods of suicide after gas stoves are banned starting in 2026
NEW YORK—In a blow to the depressed people of New York, the State Legislature banned gas stoves in most new...
Fox News unveils new graphics package to distract from Tucker not being there
In a bold move to distract viewers from the absence of their star anchor, Tucker Carlson, Fox News has unveiled...
