Brigitte Macron produces ironclad photographic evidence of womanhood
PARIS – In a stunning rebuttal to years of baseless conspiracy theories questioning her gender, Brigitte Macron, France’s First Lady,...
Culture
If You Wanted to Silence Jimmy Kimmel, You Should’ve Just Killed Him Like a Normal Person
In these tumultuous times, where the airwaves are a battlefield and late-night comedy is the last bastion of truth (or...
‘The Late Show with Stephen Colbert’ Wins Emmy for Best Talk Series to Be Canceled for Being So Awful
CBS’s The Late Show with Stephen Colbert clinched the Emmy for Best Talk Series at last night’s ceremony, a category...
The Daily Dumpster Fire: Episode 1
Welcome to The Daily Dumpster Fire, the flagship news roundup of the Genesius Times, hosted by the reliably unimpressive duo...
Why Monitoring Your Credit Reports Matters
Your credit report is more than a list of numbers—it’s a record that reflects how you handle money and responsibilities....
My spoon killed another 2 gallons of ice cream last night; it’s time for common sense spoon control
This morning, I was devastated to find out that my spoon ate another 2 gallons of ice cream last night....
Mel Gibson starts filming Braveheart 2: the true story of 12-year-old girl fending off predatory migrants
Mel Gibson has reportedly set his sights on Dundee, Scotland, for the filming of "Braveheart 2: The Return of the...
Mona Lisa Get Ready With Me Video
Big News from Genesius Times We’ve spared no expense to bring in top-tier talent for our new Beauty & Style...
BREAKING: Sadiq Khan Bans Assault Bacon in London, Declares City ‘Safe for Muslims’
LONDON—Mayor Sadiq Khan has announced a city-wide ban on "assault bacon," declaring it a public safety hazard and a bold...
BREAKING: Sydney Sweeney issues apology for being so friggin hot
Actress Sydney Sweeney issued a formal public apology Thursday after facing widespread backlash for appearing in a recent American Eagle...
