PSA: When ICE Says “STOP!” You Need to Collaborate and Listen
Listen up, America. When a federal agent in tactical gear yells “STOP!” at 120 decibels while sprinting toward you in...
Entertainment
BREAKING: Shots fired at Nakatomi Plaza in Los Angeles; possible hostage situation
CENTURY CITY, CA—The Los Angeles Police Department, SWAT, and FBI are surrounding Nakatomi Plaza at this hour after an LAPD...
PETITION: Presidential Medal of Freedom for LAPD Sergeant Al Powell, Hero during 1988 Terrorist Attack at Nakatomi Plaza
Washington, D.C. — A Genesius Times petition launched this week has garnered over 150,000 signatures calling for President Biden to...
James Gunn Passes on Chance to Make Any Money on Supergirl Film by not Casting Sydney Sweeney
Hollywood, CA — In a move that has left studio accountants weeping openly into their spreadsheets, DC Studios co-CEO James...
Pop star who sounds like a duck being brutalized without autotune condemns AI-generated music
LOS ANGELES—Quackella Jolie issued a scathing broadside against AI-generated music Wednesday, mere hours after a viral clip exposed her unfiltered...
Genesius Times Drops ‘Everyone I Don’t Like is Hitler’ Tops Billfloard Hot 100, Sparks Global Meme Frenzy
Hold onto your memes, folks: satirical news juggernaut Genesius Times has just unleashed their debut single, Everyone I Don’t Like...
In attempt to retain subscribers, Netflix releases new Trump docudrama series
LOS ANGELES, CA – In an effort to retain fleeing subscribers, Netflix has unveiled Trump: The Reimagining, a new docudrama...
If You Wanted to Silence Jimmy Kimmel, You Should’ve Just Killed Him Like a Normal Person
In these tumultuous times, where the airwaves are a battlefield and late-night comedy is the last bastion of truth (or...
‘The Late Show with Stephen Colbert’ Wins Emmy for Best Talk Series to Be Canceled for Being So Awful
CBS’s The Late Show with Stephen Colbert clinched the Emmy for Best Talk Series at last night’s ceremony, a category...
The Daily Dumpster Fire: Episode 1
Welcome to The Daily Dumpster Fire, the flagship news roundup of the Genesius Times, hosted by the reliably unimpressive duo...
