BREAKING: Sydney Sweeney issues apology for being so friggin hot
Actress Sydney Sweeney issued a formal public apology Thursday after facing widespread backlash for appearing in a recent American Eagle...
Entertainment
CBS Sees Ratings Boost After Replacing Stephen Colbert With Footage of Paint Drying
New York, NY — CBS has confirmed the dismissal of longtime Late Show host Stephen Colbert this week, citing “strategic...
NEW: Nicolas Cage to Star in National Treasure: The Epstein Files
Hollywood, CA – In a move that has left fans equal parts thrilled and baffled, Nicolas Cage is set to...
Rachel Ziegler shines as the new trans woman Superman who hates America
In a bold, boundary-smashing move that has Hollywood buzzing and X ablaze with memes, Rachel Ziegler has been cast as...
BREAKING: Disney names P. Diddy new CEO citing appeal with children
VISTA DEL MAL, CA—In a surprising move, Disney has announced that music mogul P. Diddy—who now goes by the pseudonym...
Porn star to throw in a little singing in her next porno
In a move that has left both the adult film industry and her former Disney fanbase utterly baffled, pop sensation-turned-porn...
Swifties Vow to Endure Taylor Swift’s Horrible Music on Repeat to Fund Her Masters Buyback
In a bizarre twist that has the music world clutching its pearls and reaching for noise-canceling headphones, millions of Taylor...
BREAKING: All-Female Space Crew Aborts Mission After Failing to Parallel Park Shuttle in Orbit
VAN HORN, TX – In a galactic embarrassment for pop culture and private space travel alike, Katy Perry’s much-hyped Blue...
BREAKING: April Fool’s Day cancelled because reality is so ridiculous
US President* Joe Biden has cancelled the national holiday April Fool's Day due to severe competition from the ridiculousness of...
Ireland slaps 125% tariff on US Goods until America takes Rosie O’Donnell back
Dublin, Ireland – The Irish government announced today a staggering 125% tariff on all goods imported from the United States,...
