Entertainment

Lego announces that all their minifigures have had sex change operations

6 months ago GENESIUS TIMES Exavier Saskagoochie

BILLUND, DENMARK—The children's toy company Lego announced today that all the minifigures (the small Lego figurines) that you've been playing...

Disney opens new White Guilt Ride where whites can pay $160 to be slaves

6 months ago GENESIUS TIMES Jeremy Spoken

VISTA DEL MAL, FL—In a brave move to call attention to systemic racism Disney World is introducing a new ride...

BREAKING: Demi Lovato comes out as an attention whore

6 months ago GENESIUS TIMES Bubbaken Managua

HOLLYWOOD—Many sources are reporting that Demi Lovato has come out as an attention whore. The story is now more important...

Biden addresses gas lines by sending in world class musicians

7 months ago GENESIUS TIMES Bubbaken Managua

In June of 1973, the price of a gallon of gasoline was under 50 cents. By May of 1974, it...

BREAKING: Fox News projects Hunter Biden to win the Pulitzer for stupid memoir

8 months ago GENESIUS TIMES Exavier Saskagoochie

DOOSHE, DE--Hunter Biden's heavily-promoted sex- and drug-filled memoir "Beautiful Things" has tanked in its first week on bookshelves, selling only...

Biden: ‘I’m very excited to have Transformers in the US Military’

8 months ago GENESIUS TIMES Exavier Saskagoochie

WASHINGTON, DC—President Joe Biden was excited to hear that, "the US Military would be allowing Transformers to serve," overturning a...

Biden cancels April Fool’s Day because it marginalizes Democrats

8 months ago GENESIUS TIMES Exavier Saskagoochie

WASHINGTON, DC—President Joe Biden has officially cancelled April Fool's Day because it promotes the continued marginalization of his voters. "April...