BREAKING: The Dallas Mavericks secede from the United States
DALLAS—NBA team the Dallas Mavericks, led by owner Mark Cuban, have seceded from the United
Entertainment
To be more inclusive, Disney fires only woman on ‘The Mandalorian’
VISTA DEL MAL, CA—In an effort to be more inclusive, Disney has fired Gina Carano,
Tlaib wins Oscar for Best Imaginary Victimhood
HOLLYWOOD—Representative Rashida Tlaib (D-MI) praised Allah in her acceptance speech after winning the Oscar for
President Biden declares Eagles Superbowl LV Champs by executive order
WASHINGTON, DC—At 5AM Eastern Time today President-Elect Biden issued another executive order, declaring the Philadelphia
Disney releases new blockbuster: Ocacchio
NO BUENO VISTA, CA—Disney Corporation is capitalizing on the wonderful life of congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
Rabbis confirm watching ‘The View’ will atone for half your sins
Rabbis from around the world have signed onto a letter stating that watching the daytime
Trump to be replaced with Biden in controversial ‘Home Alone 2’ scene
HOLLYWOOD—President Trump is losing the White House to Joe Biden. And now Trump will lose
Amid pandemic, millennials forced to ‘rent a vowel’ on Wheel of Fortune instead of buying them
The Hill released a report today highlighting the challenges millennials have faced throughout the pandemic,
BREAKING: Shots fired at Nakatomi Plaza in Los Angeles; possible hostage situation
CENTURY CITY, CA–LAPD, SWAT, and FBI are surrounding Nakatomi Plaza at this hour after an
Biden releases tell-all book about 2020 election ‘The Art of the Steal’
WASHINGTON DC–Self-identifying President-Elect Joe Biden has released a tell-all book called “The Art of the
