Pride parade cancelled due to 90% chance of fire and brimstone
A pride parade scheduled to be held on Saturday in the twin cities of Sodom and Gomorrah has been cancelled...
Science
Doctors Relieved Biden’s Prostate Nodule Was Just CNN’s Jake Tapper
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a stunning medical revelation, doctors at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center announced today that a...
BREAKING: Trump to rename San Andreas Fault to ‘Joe Biden’s Fault’
In a seismic shakeup that’s rattling both geologists and late-night comedians, President Donald J. Trump announced today his plan to...
Scientists now say that burning Teslas to the ground is better for the environment than not doing so
PALO ALTO, CA – Several scientists from the Institute of California Social Justice Science (ICSJS) released a study yesterday claiming...
BREAKING: All-Female Space Crew Aborts Mission After Failing to Parallel Park Shuttle in Orbit
VAN HORN, TX – In a galactic embarrassment for pop culture and private space travel alike, Katy Perry’s much-hyped Blue...
BREAKING: Scientists discover that chickens lay more eggs when you stop killing billions of them for no reason
Researchers at the Institute of Feathered Futures (IFF) have uncovered a startling truth: chickens lay more eggs when you stop...
Elon Musk Offers ‘The View’ Hosts an All-Woman SpaceX One-Way Ticket to Deep Space
Elon Musk has extended an offer to the hosts of ABC’s The View for an exclusive, all-woman SpaceX flight—a one-way...
Liberal projectile tears found to be the source of water on the moon
For hundreds of years, researchers and explorers have failed to find evidence of water on the Moon. But just recently...
BREAKING: 8 inches of global warming dumped on South Louisiana
In what can only be described as Mother Nature's twisted sense of humor, South Louisiana woke up this morning to...
BREAKING: New fake government climate data in line with completely fabricated climate forecast
WASHINGTON, DC—In a stunning display of governmental efficiency and creativity, the Department of Fabrication (DoF) has released a new set...
