EARTH DAY: Biden says it’s environmentally responsible to kill your girlfriend and compost her remains remains
WASHINGTON, DC—In a bizarre and unsettling Earth Day address, President Joe Biden urged Americans to take drastic action to reduce...
Science
Gavin Newsom threatens to blot out the sun again if we don’t sacrifice a million babies to climate goddess Greta Thunberg this year
SACRAMENTO—California Governor Gavin Newsom has issued an ultimatum to the world: sacrifice 1 million babies to climate goddess Greta Thunberg...
MTG: NYC earthquake caused by Jewish Space Lasers in retaliation for pro-Palestine protests
WASHINGTON, DC—Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) has claimed that the recent earthquake that struck New York City was caused by...
ACTUALLY: Cannibalism is the most eco-friendly diet and will save the planet
As a triple doctorate in Gender-Queer Wildebeest Grooming, Post-Colonial AI Prompt Engineering, and Post-Feminist Interpretive Dance Theory, I'm clearly the...
BREAKING: Origin of Jewish space lasers identified
ALDERAAN—In a groundbreaking development, photographic evidence has been unearthed that reveals the true origins of the elusive "Jewish space lasers."...
Spirit Halloween “Science” Costume
Unleash your inner genius and eccentricity with the Spirit Halloween "Science" costume, the perfect choice for Halloween or themed parties....
Brave local man cuts off his penis so that other men won’t rape people with theirs
SPRINGFIELD—A brave local man, Hugh Janus, has cut off his penis so that other men won't rape people. This follows...
REPORT: New Study Finds Men Who Have Taken The Covid Vaccine May Not Be Able To Get Pregnant
San Francisco, CA - In a groundbreaking scientific discovery, a new study has shaken the foundations of biology as we...
BREAKING: AOC forced to pay a carbon offset penalty for her livestream flatulent
WASSHINGTON, DC—Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY), often recognized for her passionate climate advocacy, has found herself in hot air - quite...
