AOC says she was ‘just kidding about the Green New Deal’ as she pumps the AC to 72°
US Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has been making the case for reducing fossil fuels use and reducing one’s carbon footprint. But she recently...
Science
BREAKING: FDA approves new Pfizer vaccine that is 95% effective against recession
US—The FDA has approved a new vaccine that is 95% effective against recession, a statement from the agency said. The...
97% of climate scientists say that the world has already ended and that everyone is dead
US—A new poll by the Pew Pew Institute has confirmed what many have suspected for some time: 97 percent of climate...
EXCLUSIVE: First Images from the James Webb Space Telescope
(NASA) The dawn of a new era in astronomy has begun as the world gets its first look at the...
Experts agree this is how the US will look in 3 years if we don’t reverse climate change now
US—In an utterly horrifying projection, experts across the client science field agreed that this picture is how the US will...
BREAKING: Jackson makes history as first Supreme Court justice to not know what a woman is
WASHINGTON, DC—Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson officially joined the Supreme Court on Thursday, making history as the first justice to not know what a woman...
BREAKING: NASA discovers evidence of ancient, microbial racism on Mars
WASHINGTON, DC—NASA’s Curiosity rover has uncovered ancient deposits of microbial racism on the Red Planet, opening up the possibility of...
OPINION: If you don’t like the SCOTUS decision, then you can just start your own judicial system
Ok dear reader, if I know you, and you certainly know me, then I know you are having a terrible,...
New Disney ride instantly transitions all riders to another gender
Warning: Disney is not responsible if the ride causes nausea, vomiting or the appearance of Donald Trump Jr. when the...
BREAKING: SARS-CoV-2 has finally met its maker
Dr. Anthony Fauci, the nation’s leading infectious disease creator, tested positive for COVID-19 Wednesday. Fauci, 81, tested positive on a rapid...
