BREAKING: Hantavirus Kills Two in Meth Lab Explosion
BAKERSFIELD, CA — Health officials confirmed Wednesday that hantavirus was responsible for the deaths of two individuals following an apparent...
Science
Rep Hank Johnson Warns Trump ‘The Whole Island of Iran Will Capsize If Troops Sent In’
WASHINGTON — Fearing for the lives of thousands of Marines, Rep. Hank Johnson (D-GA) urgently advised the Trump administration Tuesday...
NASA Announces George Floyd as Backup Crew Member for Artemis III Lunar Landing
Houston, TX – In a bold move to promote inclusivity and “lived experience” in space exploration, NASA confirmed Tuesday that...
AOC congratulates Cuba on achieving Net Zero with recent blackouts
In a groundbreaking development hailed by progressive climate advocates, Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) today issued a statement congratulating the Republic...
Trans Rep. McBride Wins ‘Mansplainer of the Year’ Award for Keynote at ‘What It’s Like to Be a Woman’ Conference
WASHINGTON — In a ceremony described by organizers as “both historic and inevitable,” Delaware Rep. Sarah McBride was awarded the...
Op-Ed: If Climate Change Isn’t Real, Then Why Are There No More Penguins On the North Pole?
Critics of the strategy, mostly confined to people who read past the headline, have pointed out that the last time...
STAR TREK: Woketard Academy Episode 1
In the not-so-distant future of 24th-century wokeness, welcome to Star Trek: Woketard Academy — where merit is microaggression, competence is...
Greta Thunberg’s Global Warming Conference cancelled due to sub-arctic freezing temps
A symposium sponsored by the International Global Warming Trust was cancelled today in Michigan as temperatures dipped below -50 degrees...
BREAKING: Trump cancels Global Warming in latest executive order
THE SOUTH—In a move that has stunned scientists and political observers alike, President Donald Trump, one day after his inauguration,...
Santa Claus hopes to make it down 50% more chimneys after a year on Ozempic
In a stunning announcement from the North Pole today, Santa Claus revealed that he has lost an estimated 400 pounds...
