MTG: NYC earthquake caused by Jewish Space Lasers in retaliation for pro-Palestine protests
WASHINGTON, DC—Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) has claimed that the recent earthquake that struck New York City was caused by...
Science
ACTUALLY: Cannibalism is the most eco-friendly diet and will save the planet
As a triple doctorate in Gender-Queer Wildebeest Grooming, Post-Colonial AI Prompt Engineering, and Post-Feminist Interpretive Dance Theory, I'm clearly the...
BREAKING: Origin of Jewish space lasers identified
ALDERAAN—In a groundbreaking development, photographic evidence has been unearthed that reveals the true origins of the elusive "Jewish space lasers."...
Spirit Halloween “Science” Costume
Unleash your inner genius and eccentricity with the Spirit Halloween "Science" costume, the perfect choice for Halloween or themed parties....
Brave local man cuts off his penis so that other men won’t rape people with theirs
SPRINGFIELD—A brave local man, Hugh Janus, has cut off his penis so that other men won't rape people. This follows...
REPORT: New Study Finds Men Who Have Taken The Covid Vaccine May Not Be Able To Get Pregnant
San Francisco, CA - In a groundbreaking scientific discovery, a new study has shaken the foundations of biology as we...
BREAKING: AOC forced to pay a carbon offset penalty for her livestream flatulent
WASSHINGTON, DC—Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY), often recognized for her passionate climate advocacy, has found herself in hot air - quite...
Biden offers ancient mummified dead aliens in Mexico free health care and $6,000 a month if they come to America
WASHINGTON, DC—In a move that has raised eyebrows across the galaxy, President* Joe Biden has announced an unprecedented immigration incentive...
Biden urges Floridians to protect themselves from Hurricane Idalia by ‘getting vaccinated now’
In an unexpected twist, President Biden has unveiled his latest strategy for disaster preparedness: encouraging Floridians to protect themselves from...
BREAKING: Hurricane Monica blows through DC as Hurricane Hilary peters out in California
In a bizarre twist of meteorological fate, the nation has been treated to an unusual double feature – Hurricane Monica...
