BREAKING: Trump cancels Global Warming in latest executive order
THE SOUTH—In a move that has stunned scientists and political observers alike, President Donald Trump, one day after his inauguration,...
Science
Santa Claus hopes to make it down 50% more chimneys after a year on Ozempic
In a stunning announcement from the North Pole today, Santa Claus revealed that he has lost an estimated 400 pounds...
97% of climate scientists agree that we only have 18 months to save their jobs
An international body of nearly 100 climate scientists convened by the United Nations have issued a stern warning to the...
Local man lives in constant daylight after saving it for 12 years
A local man is living in constant daylight after saving it for 12 years. "I've done my work and I...
Local liberal urges friends to ‘Trust the science (but not the science that disproves my argument)’
Local progressive activist Karen Witherspoon held a press conference today outside the Cedar Springs Community Center, passionately urging residents to...
Experts blame climate change for making them use cloud-seeding tech to cause massive flooding throughout US
NEW YORK—Government officials have blamed climate change for making them use cloud-seeding technology to cause massive flooding throughout the United...
Electric vehicle fires on Chinese cargo ships are proof that we’re doing the right thing for the environment
Dear eco-champions, green dreamers, and lovers of a good fiery spectacle, rejoice! The catastrophic Morning Midas disaster— that glorious blaze...
VIDEO: Greta Thunberg yells at Mount Etna for recklessly violating climate change regulation
ITATY—Climate enthusiast Greta Thunberg has flown to Italy to yell at the world's most active volcano Mount Etna for violating international...
Pride parade cancelled due to 90% chance of fire and brimstone
A pride parade scheduled to be held on Saturday in the twin cities of Sodom and Gomorrah has been cancelled...
Doctors Relieved Biden’s Prostate Nodule Was Just CNN’s Jake Tapper
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a stunning medical revelation, doctors at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center announced today that a...
