Walmart now offering free COVID anal swabs before shopping
BENTONVILLE, AR—In the interest of making the shopping experience for everyone as safe as can
Science
Local girls HS team gets new recruit after Biden signs trans rights executive order
The local girls high school basketball team got a surprise new recruit following President Biden’s
Nadler says 2 or 3 sets of underwear are safer
WASHINGTON, DC—Representative Jerry Nadler (D-NY) now agrees with the CDC that two or three sets
Plastic bags are the new double face masks
“Plastic bagging” is a sensible and easy way to virtue signal to your fashionable death
BREAKING: Virus deaths no longer the fault of the president
WASHINGTON, DC—Following Joe Biden’s presidential inauguration, the media announced that deaths attributed to the China
BREAKING: Biden to build wall along entire coastline to fight rising sea levels
Washington, DC—Joe Biden signaled that the environment will be at the heart of the next
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez suggests nuking sun at night when it’s colder to fight climate change
NEW YORK CITY—Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez took the internet by storm today when she suggested that
AOC demands Biden’s concentration camps use 100% renewable energy
WASHINGTON, DC—US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) has publicly demanded that President-elect Joe Biden’s concentration camps
WARNING: COVID vaccine only works if you post a selfie of you getting it
HOBOKEN, NJ–A spokesman for Pfizer Pharmaceuticals issued a warning for their new COVID-19 vaccine, which
BREAKING: Pfizer releases new vaccine to protect against the side effects of its COVID vaccine
ATLANTA—Scientists are amazed by the quick development of yet another new vaccine under Project Warp
