FDA agrees to use children in deadly experiments instead of dogs
WASHINGTON, DC—Following outrage about Dr. Anthony Fauci's use of beagles in horrible experiments, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has...
Science
Southwest cancels 1000s of flights, blames Jupiter’s Giant Red Spot overtaking US
DALLAS—Southwest Airlines canceled hundreds more flights Monday after the airline was forced to ground nearly 2,000 flights over the weekend, blaming...
CDC warns Democrats to not take ivermectin because ‘it kills parasites’
ATLANTA—The Centers for Disease Control and Health Prevention (CDC) has issued a warning that Democrats and democratic socialists should not...
Democrats hold contest to name upcoming election season Covid variants
WASHINGTON DC—With interest in the China Virus declining, Democrats are holding a nationwide contest to name new variants to reinvigorate...
BREAKING: California legalizes needle rape for K-12 schools
SACRAMENTO—California on Friday became the first state to legalize needle rape for all public and private schoolchildren, a move affecting...
BREAKING: Biden deports all horses to Mexico
Equine members of the Animal Kingdom have been a part of man's civilization for thousands of years. Horses have been...
Greta Thunberg screams at volcano recklessly violating climate change regulation
LA PALMA, Canary Islands—Just a day after Time Magazine named her "Person of the Year," Greta Thunberg was fighting climate...
BREAKING: We must force-dorf the undorfed to dorf the dorfed with the dorf that didn’t dorf the dorfed
US—A new study was just released showing that we must force-dorf the undorfed in order to dorf the dorfed with...
Biden mandates shoving marbles up everyone’s asses after tweet by Nicki Minaj
WASHINGTON, DC--President* Biden has issued a rare edict mandating that all Americans have marbles shoved up their asses to fight...
You idiots need to wear seatbelts so that my seatbelt will work
I don't know who needs to hear this but you idiots need to use your seatbelts so that mine will...
