Pope finally condemns Olympic Opening Ceremony for not including an abortion too
VATICAN CITY — In an unexpected and unprecedented statement, the Pope* has condemned the Paris Olympic opening ceremony for what...
Sports
BREAKING: Imane Khelif’s next opponent Michaela Tyson has been flown in by Team USA to the Paris Olympics
PARIS — In a move that has sent shockwaves through the world of boxing, Team USA has flown in an...
BREAKING: Dozens turn to salt when looking at Eiffel Tower
FRANCE- Dozens of people from around the globe have been mysteriously turning into pillars of salt throughout the City of...
First biological cheetah who identifies as a man set to take gold for Lichtenstein at the Paris Olympics
LICHTENSTEIN—The citizens of this small alpine country in the middle of Europe are abuzz as they are set to take...
BREAKING: Angela Carini first women’s boxer to be disqualified for striking opponent in her testicles
PARIS—In a shocking and unprecedented incident at the Paris 2024 Olympics, Italian boxer Angela Carini has become the first athlete...
BREAKING: Paris Olympics Adds ‘Dodging Fire and Brimstone’ Event Following Blasphemous Opening Ceremonies
PARIS—In an unexpected twist, the 2024 Paris Olympics Committee has announced the addition of a new event: "Dodging Fire and...
WNBA Suspends Star Player Caitlyn Clark for Being Too White and Straight
INDIANAPOLIS—The Women's National Basketball Association (WNBA) has imposed sanctions on their most popular player, Caitlyn Clark, for the heinous crime...
BREAKING: Pope Francis excommunicates Harrison Butker for being ‘too Catholic’
VATICAN—Pope Francis has announced that he is personally excommunicating Kansas City Chiefs' kicker Harrison Butker from the Catholic Church for...
BREAKING: NFL Suspends Chiefs’ Kicker for Not Meeting League Minimum for Domestic Violence
The NFL has officially suspended Kansas City Chiefs' kicker, Harrison Butker, for his failure to meet the league minimum of...
Kentucky Derby winner declines White House invitation: ‘If I wanted to see a horse’s ass I would’ve come in second’
Brian Hernandez Jr., jockey for the Kentucky Derby winner Mystik Dan, has declined an invitation to the White House, saying,...
