MLB: First Female Ump Grounds The Cubs For Messy Dugout
CHICAGO—MLB’s first female umpire, Jen “Iron Mom” Pawol, brought Wrigley Field to a screeching halt during yesterday’s Chicago Cubs game...
Sports
WNBA Players Agree to Historic Pay Increase, To Be Paid in Oversized Bendy Dildos
NEW YORK—The Women’s National Basketball Association (WNBA) has announced a groundbreaking pay increase for its players, to be distributed exclusively...
Trump Proposes Renaming NFL Commanders Back to “Redskins,” Citing Offense to Commanders-in-Chief
Washington, D.C. — President Donald J. Trump announced Tuesday that he believes the Washington Commanders NFL team should revert to...
WNBA agrees to players’ demand to ‘Pay Us What You Owe Us’; sets all their salaries to $0
PHOENIX — The WNBA has reset all player salaries to $0 following a unified protest during warm-ups at the WNBA...
WNBA installs new mid-court wrestling ring to help players pummel Caitlin Clark
The WNBA has unveiled a regulation wrestling ring at center court for all games, designed explicitly to let players “pummel”...
Angel Reese says basketball rims are racists for making her throw up so many bricks
CHICAGO, IL – In a shocking post-game press conference following a tough loss for the Chicago Sky, WNBA star Angel...
Cleveland Browns draft wife-beater Kilmar Garcia for roster depth
CLEVELAND, OH – In a move that has left NFL fans simultaneously stunned and oddly unsurprised, the Cleveland Browns used...
All 6 WNBA fans devastated as Angel Reese threatens to sit out if she’s not paid more
In a shocking turn of events that sent ripples through the half a dozen dedicated WNBA fans, star player Angel...
Weirdos try to play hockey in the middle of the US-Canada ice boxing match
MONTREAL—In what was supposed to be a brutal but beautiful display of ice boxing—a sport where gloved combatants duke it...
BREAKING: Nation shocked to see a president in a room full of children and not sniff any of them
WASHINGTON, DC—In an event that left the nation both shocked and amused, President Donald Trump signed an executive order banning...
