Elon Musk to give free wifi to everyone on earth but keep the password to himself
Revolutionary entrepreneur and eccentric businessman Elon Musk, founder of SpaceX and CEO of Tesla Motors, is ready to change communications...
Tech
EXCLUSIVE: Russian hackers fill Dem primary with utterly despicable people
U.S.—Russian hackers responsible for making Trump president in 2016 are at it again for the 2020 election, again relying on...
BREAKING: Disney leaks new Star Wars title: ‘Episode IX: The Search for More Money’
After a monumental flop in Star Wars franchise history for the eighth installment, Disney has leaked the new Star Wars...
Travelers cheer as TSA officers return to fondle their privates
U.S.—Plane travelers across the United States are celebrating the end of the government shutdown primarily because the T.S.A. guards are...
Google offers aversion therapy for conservative employees who slipped through the cracks
After several complaints by Google employees that a manager mentioned the deeply problematic and homophobic word "family", the company (NASDAQ:...
Congressional turd proposes 70% tax on rich for gold-plated sewers
The first-ever living turd to be elected to the US House of Representatives, Chet (@ChetTheTurd), is not wasting any time...
Smartphone user thrilled by mobile site’s thirty-seven pop-ups
A Sarasota, NY man, Perry Pouche, who recently upgraded to the latest smartphone technology, says that he really loves it...
Communist tweets “Death to Capitalism” on iPhone while slamming down Big Mac
An ardent socialist and vocal proponent of "full communism" has recently tweeted, "Death to CAPITALISM!!!" Stephen Loseritz, 7th year gender...
Social bathroom tweeter now concerned about privacy after receiving presidential alert
A Wisconsin man, known to friends and neighbors as the "bathroom tweeter" and who has posted detailed accounts of every...
New Vaccine Safe Despite Killing 25%
In a stunning defense of the scientific method and modern medical establishment, Brian Wix, spokesman for the new victus mortuus...
