BREAKING: Civilizational annihilation put on hold for two weeks
Washington, D.C. — In a dramatic late-night Truth Social announcement that left national security analysts blinking in confusion, President Donald...
World
Rep Hank Johnson Warns Trump ‘The Whole Island of Iran Will Capsize If Troops Sent In’
WASHINGTON — Fearing for the lives of thousands of Marines, Rep. Hank Johnson (D-GA) urgently advised the Trump administration Tuesday...
Ketanji Jackson argues that since Trump bombed Iran, he’s now an Iranian citizen
WASHINGTON — In a landmark 5-4 decision delivered Monday, Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson held that former President Donald...
Pope Leo clarifies: Christ didn’t go to Hell after being crucified; He went to Portland
Vatican City — In a surprise clarification issued from the Apostolic Palace on Holy Saturday, Pope Leo XIV has revised...
Iranian President Clarifies: That Whole ‘Death to America’ Was a Misunderstanding; ‘We Really Meant Health to America!’
Tehran, Iran – In a stunning diplomatic pivot that has left international observers reaching for their calendars to confirm it’s...
France To Advise Iran On How To Surrender With Dignity
Paris, France — In a bold diplomatic initiative that has left international observers alternately baffled and unsurprised, President Emmanuel Macron...
Trump Appoints Afroman Chief Negotiator in Iran Conflict to Deploy Custom Diss Tracks in Bid to Force Regime Surrender
WASHINGTON, DC—In a personnel decision described by White House officials as “unconventional but tremendously effective,” President Donald Trump today appointed...
Local men dominate International Women’s Day celebration
SPRINGFIELD — In a display of what organizers described as “unprecedented solidarity and lived experience,” this year’s International Women’s Day...
WATCH: Fat Gun: Doughboy
Fat Gun: Doughboy is a political documentary that follows the bizarre and covert diplomatic mission known only as Operation Doughboy—an...
BREAKING: Khamenei meets 72 virgins after he dies
TEHRAN—In a development sources close to paradise are calling “mildly disappointing yet entirely predictable,” former Iranian Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei...
