BREAKING: Trump to buy Greenland to rename it Iceland and buy Iceland to rename it Greenland
NUUK, GREENLAND—An idea whose time has come, former President Donald Trump announced his latest and greatest real estate venture: purchasing...
World
BREAKING: Justin Trudeau resigns to focus on career in blackface entertainment
OTTAWA—In a move that has left the Canadian political landscape in shock, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced early this morning...
BREAKING: Nation horrified to learn terrorist wasn’t a white supremacist
New Orleans, LA — In a stunning turn of events that has left the nation reevaluating its assumptions, the identity...
Man who accidentally left 300,000 guns for Taliban gives lecture on gun control
WASHINGTON, DC—The man who accidentally left 300,000 guns for the Taliban and is sending millions of dollars in weapons to...
BREAKING: Trump has invaded Canada
In a shocking turn of events, former President Donald Trump has invaded Canada in a bizarre pre-presidential stunt that has...
BREAKING: Rooftop Koreans heading back to Korea to settle things down
The Rooftop Koreans have announced that they are heading back to their home country in an effort to settle things...
White House: Nuclear Armageddon was always a key part of Biden’s ‘Build Back Better’ agenda
WASHINGTON, DC—White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre said today that nuclear Armageddon has always been a key part of President*...
Transwomen complain about uniforms crushing their balls during dominating performance
PARIS—The Chinese track and field team that recently dominated the high jump at the 2024 Paris Olympics weren't all smiles—there...
BREAKING: Biden annexes Ukraine as 51st state of the Union in order to expedite WWIII
WASHINGTON, DC—In an unprecedented move, President* Joe Biden has unilaterally annexed Ukraine and made it the 51st state of the...
BREAKING: World shocked that a beautiful actual woman won the Miss Universe beauty pageant
MEXICO CITY—The world is shocked and horrified as an actually beautiful woman has won the Miss Universe beauty pageant. Victoria...
