97% of climate scientists agree that we only have 18 months to save their jobs
An international body of nearly 100 climate scientists convened by the United Nations have issued a stern warning to the...
World
Netanyahu Gives Golden Pagers to Diplomats Who Walked Out of His UN Speech
UNITED NATIONS — Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu on Friday presented gold-plated pagers to every diplomat who walked out of...
Omar, Having Mastered Roman Numerals, Asks Who is this ‘President Eleven Jinping?’
WASHINGTON — Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-Minn.) expressed sharp frustration Thursday after concluding that China’s leader is named President Eleven Jinping,...
Trump Completes First Scouting Patrol in Greenland on Tauntaun
NUUK, Greenland — President Donald J. Trump and Secretary of State Marco Rubio on Tuesday completed what the White House...
Brave Canadian PM Carney Cuts Off His Testicles to Protest Trump
OTTAWA — In a decisive act of national solidarity, Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney voluntarily severed his own testicles on...
By Securing Greenland, Trump Will Now Get A +5 Troop Bonus Every Turn
WASHINGTON — The White House confirmed Saturday that the United States’ newly secured position in Greenland will deliver a permanent...
Introducing Sharia Barbie with hijab, Quran, and a forced marriage license!
Toy maker Mattel has introduced a wonderful toy for all the girls and boys who identify as girls out there:...
Salem, Massachusetts To Bring Back Witch Trials Following Clancy Trial Debacle
SALEM, Mass. — The City of Salem voted Monday to restore witch trials, citing the Lindsay Clancy case in Plymouth...
Carney Threatens to Move Entire Country of Canada to Europe
OTTAWA — Prime Minister Mark Carney announced Monday that Canada intends to leave the continent. “We are not looking to...
Trump Renames Everything ‘America’
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump on Friday terminated all U.S. foreign aid after signing an executive order that renames Earth...
