Immigrants Issue Heartfelt Thanks to France for Its Inclusivity by Burning It to the Ground
PARIS — In what officials are calling a powerful testament to successful integration, large groups of recent arrivals have begun...
World
Local Leftist Takes Break From Celebrating All Immigrants to Condemn One Particular Immigrant
PORTLAND, Ore. — In a rare departure from her usual advocacy, community organizer Marisol Vargas paused her longstanding campaign of...
Sacrifice a human and 7 more ways to not be a bigot on Indigenous Peoples’ Day
Everyone knows that if you celebrate Columbus Day, you're a Nazi bigot, so that's why most woke cultures and municipalities...
Leftist Takes Break from Cheering Public Execution of Innocent Man to Condemn Public Execution of Mass Murderer
WASHINGTON — Progressive groups paused Thursday from their regular commentary on executions they regard as justice in order to condemn...
BREAKING: Iran Cancels Plans to Attack California because Gavin Newsom Already Destroyed It
TEHRAN — Iranian military planners have formally shelved a long-rumored operation targeting California after an internal review concluded the mission...
Russian Health Minister Antonsky Fauchinsky Confirms Pneumonic Plague Originated Naturally in Bats Before Jumping to Humans
MOSCOW — Russian Health Minister Dr. Anton Fauchinsky confirmed Wednesday that the recent case of pneumonic plague almost certainly originated...
WOOPS: Plague Factory Worker Accidentally Starts Deadly Pandemic Right Before Midterms
MOSCOW — A mid-level technician at the remote Siberian Strategic Pathogen Production Complex, more commonly known among staff as the...
Climate Change Causing Fires All Across France, Experts Confirm
PARIS — CNN reported Monday that the immigrant riots now entering their second week across several French cities are being...
Scientists Baffled as to Why the Left Keeps Losing in South America Since the CIA Stopped Funding Their Campaigns Through USAID
SÃO PAULO — Political scientists and institutional-development researchers reported deepening bewilderment on Sunday after Brazil’s first-round presidential election produced yet...
Iran Graciously Lets Democrats Use Their Trademarked slogan “Death to America” for 2026 midterm Election
WASHINGTON — The Islamic Republic of Iran announced Thursday that it would graciously permit several Democratic campaign committees to use...
