Anti-war Democrats excited for Biden to start WWIII
WASHINGTON – In a rare show of bipartisanship, the top anti-war liberals joined with blood-thirsty Republicans to celebrate President* Joe...
World
BREAKING: Biden announces 2024 campaign for president of Ukraine
WASHINGTON, DC—In a shocking announcement today, President Joe Biden declared that he will be running for the presidency of Ukraine...
BREAKING: Mardi Gras cancelled due to lack of cheap plastic beads from China
The biggest party of the year has been called off due to a shortage of the most essential item: beads....
After deadly Ohio train derailment, Transportation Sec Buttigieg vows to go on train vacation next
EAST PALESTINE, OH—Following the deadly train derailment in Ohio in which hundreds of thousands of pounds of toxic chemicals were...
US facing ‘massive shortage’ of conspiracy theories as all of them have come true
US—The United States is experiencing the worst shortage of conspiracy theories in decades as all of them have come true...
Satan distances himself from Pfizer after Grammys sponsorship
HOLLYWOOD—The Prince of Darkness has denounced his Grammys ritual being sponsored by Pfizer, claiming the company "is pure evil." "I...
BREAKING: Chinese spy balloon spotted flying over North America
The Pentagon is tracking a suspected Chinese spy balloon that is making its way over the northern US, a further strain on...
Biden to replace all statues of white people with statues of George Floyd robbing pregnant woman
US—President* Biden signed an executive order earlier today instructing all municipalities to replace their racist statues of white people with...
BREAKING: Unvaxxed, unhealthy, sick, guy with bad character wins Australian Open
An unhealthy, unvaxxed, sick, risk to society somehow won one of the most grueling sporting events in the world: the...
BREAKING: Biden sends 31 Abrams tanks to Ukraine
WASHINGTON, DC—In a major increase of U.S. support to Ukraine, President* Joe Biden has signed off on sending 31 Stacey Abrams...
