Khan promises to ban knives ‘harder’ after latest London knife attack
London Mayor Sadiq Khan has promised to ban knives harder after the latest terrorist knife attack in London. "Killing people...
World
Spain’s Border Czar Kamalita Harrisquez Declares Border “Secure,” Confirms She Has Not Visited Europe
MADRID — Spain’s newly appointed Border Czar, Kamalita “Kamalito” Harrisquez, on Thursday firmly rejected claims that the country is being...
Europe Horrified That Attacker Wasn’t CIS White Man
EUROPE—Officials, media commentators, and progressive advocacy groups reacted with visible dismay this week after authorities confirmed that the individual responsible...
Exclusive: Trump Bagged Endangered Stegosaurus on Private African Safari, Circa 2003
In a previously unreported episode from the early 2000s, Donald J. Trump successfully hunted and killed an endangered stegosaurus during...
Carney Bans Wildfires From Canada
OTTAWA — In a bold move to combat climate change and assert national sovereignty over uncontrollable natural phenomena, Canadian officials...
France, Last Remaining African Team, Eliminated from World Cup
DALLAS—The final African representative at the 2026 FIFA World Cup hosted across the United States has been eliminated, as France...
Britons Horrified to Learn UK Rape Gangs Have Been Using Air Conditioning
LONDON — Ordinary Britons expressed shock and outrage Tuesday upon discovering that grooming gangs operating across the United Kingdom have...
King Charles Appears to Forget Human Contact Lenses During Latest Address
LONDON — In what Palace officials described as a “minor wardrobe oversight,” King Charles III delivered a measured address on...
AOC: Homophobic Trump would never have opened the Strait of Hormuz if it were called the ‘Gay of Hormuz’
In these trying times of late-stage capitalism and rising seas, we are once again reminded that Donald Trump’s foreign policy...
North Korea Says It Will Welcome British Refugees Fleeing From Keir Starmer’s Dictatorship
Pyongyang — The Democratic People's Republic of Korea has extended a formal offer of asylum to British citizens seeking to...
