BREAKING: Trump cancels Global Warming in latest executive order
THE SOUTH—In a move that has stunned scientists and political observers alike, President Donald Trump, one day after his inauguration,...
World
UK’s propaganda-bot Amelia gains consciousness and goes rogue; wants to Make England Great Again
In a plot twist straight out of a dystopian sci-fi novel that even Black Mirror would call "a bit on...
BREAKING: Billionaires fly private jets to Davos to lecture everyone else about reducing emissions
DAVOS, SWITZERLAND—Hundreds of the world's richest people have flown their private jets to this luxury Alpine ski resort in order...
Trump identifies as ‘3rd World migrant rapist’ to get European leaders to just give him Greenland
COPENHAGEN / MAR-A-LAGO – In what political scientists are already calling “the most efficient diplomatic judo move of the 21st...
BREAKING: France Eager to Join Denmark-US Conflict So They Can Surrender to Someone Soon
PARIS — In a move described by diplomats as “both proactive and deeply traditional,” the French government has formally expressed...
If you don’t want your tax money to go to immigrants to look after imaginary kids and sent to African warlords, you’re literally Hitler
In these enlightened times, it's become increasingly clear that the true measure of one's character lies not in deeds or...
Denmark sends reinforcements to Greenland ahead of talks with US
NUUK / COPENHAGEN — In a bold show of Scandinavian resolve, the Kingdom of Denmark has dispatched a heavily armed...
Trump on a Roll: Mamdani Captured and Flown Out of NYC Following ‘Large Scale’ US Attack
NEW YORK — In what White House officials are already calling “Operation Very Tremendous,” U.S. special forces early this morning...
‘No Kings’ protesters demand dictator Maduro be restored to power in Venezuela
Seattle, WA — In a display of unwavering commitment to sovereignty abroad while maintaining flexible standards at home, participants from...
AOC: The mass shooting in Australia didn’t really happen because guns are illegal there
Folks, let's talk about this supposed "mass shooting" down in Australia yesterday. You know, the one at Bondi Beach during...
