BREAKING: Marco Rubio named new Supreme Leader of Iran
In a stunning development that has left foreign policy analysts reaching for their atlases, President Donald J. Trump announced today...
World
BREAKING: Trump bombs Iran so that he can get a Nobel Peace Prize like Obama
In a bold move to secure lasting global recognition, President Donald J. Trump authorized precision airstrikes on multiple Iranian military...
Carney orders all Canadian flags to fly at half-mast after hockey team loses to US in Olympic final
Ottawa – In a somber address from Rideau Hall this afternoon, Prime Minister Mark Carney directed that all Canadian flags...
SHOCK: Former Prince Andrew Has Tragically Died in Car Crash Next Week
LONDON – In a development that has left the globe reeling with predictable astonishment, Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor—formerly known to the world...
Prince Andrew Converts to Islam; Police Immediately Drop All Charges
LONDON—In a move described by royal watchers as "bold, innovative, and suspiciously timed," Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor, formerly known as Prince Andrew,...
UNBREAKING NEWS: The shooter wasn’t a white CIS-gendered male so we’re going to stop covering this story
In a rare display of journalistic restraint, major news networks announced this morning that they would be immediately ceasing all...
Trump gains liberal support by renaming ICE ‘Planned Citizenship’
In an appeal to pro-choice progressives protesting the detention center at the Mexican border, President Trump has renamed the US...
Crown threatens Prince Andrew: 10 more scandals and he’ll have to move into £30m terraced mansion
In a stern memo leaked from the newly rebranded Crown Discipline Office (formerly "Buckingham Palace – Back Office"), the monarchy...
BREAKING: Mossad sues DOJ for ‘just giving away’ the blackmail material that Epstein had worked so hard to generate for them
In a stunning legal reversal that has left international relations scholars reaching for their strongest coffee, the Mossad today filed...
Bruce Springsteen releases ‘Born in the Somali-A’ in tribute of the financially savvy immigrants
In a bold artistic pivot that has left fans and critics alike reaching for their tax returns, Bruce Springsteen today...
