ALEXANDRIA, EGYPT—Archeologists working in Alexandria, Egypt have recently discovered damaging photos of Moses not wearing a mask during the Egyptian plagues.
They uncovered more than a dozen pictures of the Jewish leader, and all of them show Moses not wearing a mask during each of the ten plagues.
“This is unacceptable,” New York Governor Andrew Cuomo said, reacting to the news. “As one of the most important figures in Jewish history, we’d expect Moses to follow simple CDC guidelines and wear a mask as required. But as I understand it, Moses was fairly old at the time of the plagues and if it was up to me, I’d advised him to retire at that point, and offered him to live in one of our very own nursing homes.”
Upon further examination, however, the mystery behind the photos was finally revealed. A note from Amazon was discovered not too far away from where the photos were discovered with the following message: “Hi Moses, unfortunately, UPS ran into a swarm of locusts when attempting your mask delivery. They will try again. You can contact UPS for more information. PS. Please give us an advance warning before the next plague. Thank you.”
Just to play things safe, Mayor Bill de Blasio put the entire country of Egypt into the red zone.