Mountain View, CA—Google CEO Sundar Pichai announced today that a the next Google Chrome update will include a mandatory satire filter that will strip all the joy away from the Internet.
“It was only a matter of time before I warned internet users of dangerous satire,” said Pichai via Skype and not by Google Hangouts, “Facebook has included a satire warning banner, YouTube blocks videos it doesn’t like, and Twitter is fact checking every tweet so, I thought I would stay ahead of the game.”
Google shareholders agree that like the sarcasm detector is a great invention.
Every time an Internet user accesses a satirical website, 1 to 500 pop-ups will appear on the screen with links to other safer and less entertaining content. Should the user click away said pop-ups, a bright red warning sign will appear with the words, “Danger: Satire Detected” on the screen, along with a concerned unicorn shaking its head.
“I could have invented the satire detector,” said Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella, “but I didn’t want to. Besides, when it comes to web browsing our company has been phoning it in from the beginning, just look at Internet Explorer.”
Several Google Beta Testers contacted us (believe it or not) in order to support the new plugin.
“I love it,” said Internet user Al Wazebusy, “I can share articles or videos without having to wonder if it’s a joke or not and if it is, what I don’t find it funny.”
“My meme posting has quadrupled, now that I don’t have to think about what I’m sharing,” said Sharon Ackseptables.
“Everyone should use our plugin, and no, I am not an AI bot,” said web user P. Rogram.
Hackers are expected to have a bootlegged copy of the new plugin before this article has been printed.
Several UN countries have spoken out in support of the new addon to Chrome, stating that the Illuminati approves of the new add-on.