Hundreds have contracted socialyphilis after drinking Bernie Sanders campaign bath water
Hundreds of people have contracted the rare communicable disease socialyphilis after drinking the water marketed by the Bernie Sanders campaign as Bernie Bath Water.
On July 1, Bernie Sanders posted a photograph of himself to his four million Instagram followers, writing: “I am now selling my bath water for all you thirsty soycialist boys. Check out my new shop where I’m selling stuff for you!!”
The description of the bathwater included a remarkable disclaimer: “Bottled while I’m playing in the bath. This really is bath water. Disclaimer: This water is not for drinking and should only be used for sentimental purposes.”
Unfortunately, many people have taken the Bernie Bath Water Plunge and consumed the water. The ones who contracted the rare disease socialyphilis say that symptoms started mild with a yellow and red rash over the body and eventually turned into mooching off of friends and then full on thievery.
The Bernie Sanders campaign denies any wrongdoing and said that the disclaimer should have sufficed.
“I can’t vouch for the intelligence of my supporters,” Sanders said. “They think they’re fighting income inequality by going into debt to make me richer! Hahahaha!”
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