In a rare social media victory, an sociopathic dirtbag convinced a reasonable person of his illogical position simply by inserting hand clap emojies between all of his words.

“I was pretty shocked myself,” Peter Barnes of Springfield said of the encounter. “I mean, everything the guy tweets is just horribly illogical, but when I saw the hand clap emojis I knew that I had met my philosophical match.”

The emphasis clap (Urban Dictionary has dubbed it the “ratchet clap”) belongs to the toolbox comedian Robin Thede introduced to the world as “Black Lady Sign Language.” It is when you clap on every syllable of a statement you are making in order to underscore the very important content of that statement.

Sometimes the claps express excitement; more often, they convey anger. Ariana Grande exhibited perfect form on a recent episode of Saturday Night Live, playing a salty version of The Sound of Music’s Maria opposite a flock of smack-talking nuns.

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Exavier Saskagoochie

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