EXCLUSIVE: George Floyd celebrates 5 years of sobriety 
Bongino Blinks “CORRUPTION” In Morse Code During TV Interview 
Genesius Times officially endorses AOC-Crockett 2028 Presidential Ticket: ‘It’s a No-Brainer’ 
BREAKING: Republicans pass $5 trillion bill to figure out how to cut spending by spending more 
EYEWITNESS: Local baby recounts harrowing experience when she realized there was a fire in a neighborhood building 
SUPRRISE: Trump unveils his face on Mount Rushmore for Presidents’ Day
KEYSTONE, South Dakota – In a move that has left historians, geologists, and just about everyone else in utter disbelief,...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Weirdos try to play hockey in the middle of the US-Canada ice boxing match
MONTREAL—In what was supposed to be a brutal but beautiful display of ice boxing—a sport where gloved combatants duke it...
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez releases line of socialist Valentines
The creative art director at the Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez staff has been working like an unpaid Democratic staffer in preparation for...
BREAKING: Mitch McConnell blinks twice to vote ‘No’ on Tulsi Gabbard
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a dramatic moment that left the Senate chamber in stunned silence—or perhaps just mild confusion—Senate Minority...
AOC: ‘USAID money laundering protects us from all the germs on money’
Listen, I’ve been saying it for years: Money is disgusting. Like, scientifically, microbially, tuna-smelling disgusting. A single dollar bill can...
Schumer demands a thorough probe of Elon Musk’s Harry Bōlz for any possible privacy violations
Washington, D.C. – In a stunning turn of events, Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY) has called for an immediate...
BREAKING: Judge Hugh Jassole says it’s unconstitutional for Trump to make America great again
Washington, D.C. — In a surprising judicial decision at 07:13 AM on February 10, 2025, Federal District Judge Hugh Jassole...
JUST IN: Brave young Democrat influencers cut off their testicles in protest of Trump
In an unprecedented display of political fervor, a group of young, progressive activists known as the "Brave Democrats" - comprised...
Trump is cutting government power and waste: LITERALLY HITLER!
In an era where the very fabric of our society is being unraveled by the threads of efficiency, one man...
Dems assure public on USAID: ‘It’s not corruption; It’s *democratic* corruption’
Washington, D.C.—As the DOGE audit unearths what many describe as egregious misuse of funds within USAID, Democrats have taken to...
