Congress pauses demanding release of Epstein files in order to block release of congressional sex abuse files 
WATCH: Fat Gun: Doughboy 
Iranian general writes scathing 1-star review for Chinese military drones purchased on Temu 
Sources have informed Trump that the Federal Reserve is just 2 weeks away from developing a nuclear weapon 
BREAKING: Khamenei meets 72 virgins after he dies 
Santa Claus hopes to make it down 50% more chimneys after a year on Ozempic
In a stunning announcement from the North Pole today, Santa Claus revealed that he has lost an estimated 400 pounds...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: GOP Congress narrowly avoids doing anything the entire year of 2025
Washington, D.C. — In a masterful exhibition of bipartisan complicity masked as partisan deadlock, the Republican-led 119th Congress has proudly...
Local kids announce they are ‘starving’ 2 minutes after leaving a party with endless amounts of food they didn’t touch
In a heartbreaking turn of events that has stunned parents and child hunger advocates alike, a group of local elementary...
Joe Biden finally raises enough money for his presidential library
Wilmington, DE – In a triumphant announcement today, former President Joe Biden revealed that his long-stalled presidential library project has...
BREAKING: Police Release Image of Brown University Shooting Suspect
PROVIDENCE, RI — In a bold move to accelerate the capture of the gunman responsible for Saturday's tragic shooting at...
Minnesota Governor Tim Walz Counters Lindell’s Gubernatorial Bid with Launch of “MyTampon” Brand
St. Paul, MN – Fresh off MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell's announcement that he will seek the Republican nomination to challenge...
PETITION: Presidential Medal of Freedom for LAPD Sergeant Al Powell, Hero during 1988 Terrorist Attack at Nakatomi Plaza
Washington, D.C. — A Genesius Times petition launched this week has garnered over 150,000 signatures calling for President Biden to...
AOC: The mass shooting in Australia didn’t really happen because guns are illegal there
Folks, let's talk about this supposed "mass shooting" down in Australia yesterday. You know, the one at Bondi Beach during...
FBI Confirms Charlie Kirk was Killed by the Same ‘Magic Bullet’ that Killed JFK
In a stunning announcement that has finally put to rest decades of conspiracy theories, the Federal Bureau of Investigation confirmed...
James Gunn Passes on Chance to Make Any Money on Supergirl Film by not Casting Sydney Sweeney
Hollywood, CA — In a move that has left studio accountants weeping openly into their spreadsheets, DC Studios co-CEO James...