Elon Musk needs to stop doing amazing things because it’s making us gender studies triple-doctorates feel worthless 
BREAKING: Trump considering replacing Federal Reserve with much more reliable Magic 8 Ball 
BREAKING: Dems cheer Laken Riley’s murder As ‘A very, very late term abortion’ 
White House: Nuclear Armageddon was always a key part of Biden’s ‘Build Back Better’ agenda 
Transwomen complain about uniforms crushing their balls during dominating performance 
BREAKING: Mark Cuban denies that he’s Rosie O’Donnell and Rachel Maddow’s lesbian love child
Dallas, TX — Billionaire entrepreneur and owner of the Dallas Mavericks, Mark Cuban, has publicly denied persistent rumors that he...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: Kamala Harris fires her speechwriter Jar Jar Binks
Washington, D.C. — In a surprising shake-up within the Harris-Walz 2024 campaign, Vice President Kamala Harris has officially parted ways...
Harris Promises That Any Americans Who Die In WWIII Won’t Have To Repay Their Student Loans
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following President* Biden's plan, Vice President* Kamala Harris has assured the public that any U.S. citizens who...
HISTORIC: Jimmy Carter Becomes First Deceased President to Vote for Kamala Harris in 2024
PLAINS, GA — In a stunning and unprecedented act of civic participation, former President Jimmy Carter has become the first...
Netflix releases new documentary: Christopher Columbus: the First African American
LOS ANGELES — In a bold reimagining of history, Netflix announced the release of its latest documentary, Christopher Columbus: The...
Elizabeth Warren takes 1/1024th of the day off to celebrate Indigenous People’s Day
Most people are aware that Sen. Elizabeth Warren, front runner for the 2020 Democratic nomination for president, is a true...
Sacrifice a human and 7 more ways to not be a bigot on Indigenous Peoples’ Day
Everyone knows that if you celebrate Columbus Day, you're a Nazi bigot, so that's why most woke cultures and municipalities...
Kamala Harris sacrifices 666 innocent people to Aztec sun god to celebrate Indigenous Peoples’ Day instead of that evil Columbus Day
WASHINGTON, DC—In a bold and historic gesture, Vice President Kamala Harris marked this year’s Indigenous People’s Day with a dazzling...
Elon Musk unveils Tesla’s Cyber-School Bus
What started off as a casual comment by Elon Musk in 2012 about wanting to build a truck has evolved into what...
Things to Know About Debt Restructuring
Debt can feel like a heavy burden, especially when you're juggling multiple loans and payments. If you're in a tough...
